Joke I found funny...

This is the place for posts that don't fit into any other category.

Moderator: RichardW

Post Reply
doctle
Posts: 947
Joined: 16 Oct 2014, 12:17
Location: Meath Ireland
My Cars: 2008 Laguna 1.5 DCi
x 235

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by doctle »

I can do worse ..

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers
Oh buggle
User avatar
mickthemaverick
Donor 2024
Posts: 13524
Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
Location: Hertford
My Cars: 70+ former cars (list available) including 11 Citroens, 3 Renaults
Current cars: 2004 Subaru Legacy 2.5 SEn, 1994 Mazda MX3
x 6011

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

"My cars fuel gauge doesn't work!"
"How do you know when you are low on petrol then?"
"The kids bring it back!!"
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
Peter.N.
Moderating Team
Posts: 11563
Joined: 02 Apr 2005, 16:11
Location: Charmouth,Dorset
My Cars: Currently:

C5 X7 VTR + Satnav Hdi estate Silver
C5 X7 VTR + Hdi Estate 2008 Red

In the past: 3, CX td Safaris and about 7, XM td estates. Lovely cars.
x 1199

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Peter.N. »

That strikes a chord. :-D

Peter
User avatar
Huskyxantia
Donor 2023
Posts: 1949
Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw

Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .

Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice.
x 398

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Huskyxantia »

A pig stands in front of an electric socket: “Oh no, who put you into that wall?!”


Sorry ... Yes its bad ........Exit left...
Husky. :?
User avatar
Huskyxantia
Donor 2023
Posts: 1949
Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw

Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .

Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice.
x 398

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Huskyxantia »

An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was
Husky. :?
User avatar
Huskyxantia
Donor 2023
Posts: 1949
Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw

Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .

Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice.
x 398

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Huskyxantia »

A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."
Husky. :?
User avatar
mickthemaverick
Donor 2024
Posts: 13524
Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
Location: Hertford
My Cars: 70+ former cars (list available) including 11 Citroens, 3 Renaults
Current cars: 2004 Subaru Legacy 2.5 SEn, 1994 Mazda MX3
x 6011

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

Chap walks into the pub and orders a treble scotch. "What's up mate?" asks the bartender.
"The wife is fuming with me!"
"What did you do?"
"I saw her leaning into the chest freezer in her miniskirt and I couldn't resist the temptation" replied the chap.
"No wonder she's fuming, assaulting her dignity like that!!" says the barman.
"Oh, that's not why she's fuming,
Spoiler: show
it was getting banned from Iceland that upset her!!"
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
User avatar
Huskyxantia
Donor 2023
Posts: 1949
Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw

Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .

Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice.
x 398

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Huskyxantia »

Hahahahahah above
Husky. :?
User avatar
CitroJim
A very naughty boy
Posts: 49534
Joined: 30 Apr 2005, 23:33
Location: Paggers
My Cars: Bluebell the AX, Polly the C3 Picasso, Pix the Nissan Pixo, Propel the duathlon bike, TCR Pro the road bike and Fuji the TT bike...
x 6163
Contact:

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by CitroJim »

Huskyxantia wrote: 26 Nov 2020, 16:41 Hahahahahah above
+1
Jim

Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
User avatar
NewcastleFalcon
Posts: 24566
Joined: 25 Feb 2009, 10:40
Location:
My Cars:
x 6866

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by NewcastleFalcon »

Karl Marx is an historically famous figure. <br />But you never hear about his sister, Onya, <br />who invented the starting pistol.
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure.
But you never hear about his sister, Onya,
who invented the starting pistol.
Regards Neil
Only One AA Box left
687 Trinity, Jersey
User avatar
myglaren
Forum Admin Team
Posts: 25370
Joined: 02 Mar 2008, 13:30
Location: Washington
My Cars: Mazda 6
Ooops.
Previously:
2009 Honda Civic :(
C5, C5, Xantia, BX, GS, Visa.
R4, R11TXE, R14, R30TX
x 4889

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by myglaren »

hhdIHR7.jpg
User avatar
CitroJim
A very naughty boy
Posts: 49534
Joined: 30 Apr 2005, 23:33
Location: Paggers
My Cars: Bluebell the AX, Polly the C3 Picasso, Pix the Nissan Pixo, Propel the duathlon bike, TCR Pro the road bike and Fuji the TT bike...
x 6163
Contact:

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by CitroJim »

🤣🤣🤣 to both of those...
Jim

Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Hell Razor5543
Donor 2023
Posts: 13727
Joined: 01 Apr 2012, 09:47
Location: Reading
My Cars: C5 Mk2 VTX+ estate.
x 2993

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

I went to see a holistic optician recently. She told me to look inwards, and say what I saw. I replied "I can see pubs and bars that are closed, people hardly going out (and when they do they are wearing face coverings), lots of news articles about a pandemic, and reports of lots of people in hospital or dying".
Spoiler: show
"Congratulations" she said, "You have 2020 vision".
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR

C5 2.2HDi VTX+
Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
User avatar
Huskyxantia
Donor 2023
Posts: 1949
Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw

Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .

Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice.
x 398

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Huskyxantia »

Hell Razor5543 wrote: 29 Nov 2020, 19:22 I went to see a holistic optician recently. She told me to look inwards, and say what I saw. I replied "I can see pubs and bars that are closed, people hardly going out (and when they do they are wearing face coverings), lots of news articles about a pandemic, and reports of lots of people in hospital or dying".
Spoiler: show
"Congratulations" she said, "You have 2020 vision".
Hahahahaha.... Like it like it ! :rofl2:
Husky. :?
Peter.N.
Moderating Team
Posts: 11563
Joined: 02 Apr 2005, 16:11
Location: Charmouth,Dorset
My Cars: Currently:

C5 X7 VTR + Satnav Hdi estate Silver
C5 X7 VTR + Hdi Estate 2008 Red

In the past: 3, CX td Safaris and about 7, XM td estates. Lovely cars.
x 1199

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Peter.N. »

:-D
Post Reply