As the OP is my son i will now update this thread as the main issue has been resolved

Thanks to Marc i now have the updates for the firmware for the head unit but being non tech savvy i have yet to get the update to work but back top the issue.
In frustration of not getting the system to accept the SD card with the update on i decided to get the head unit to do a factory reset with the engine running.
Once that was done the unit now behaves itself, within seconds of pairing a phone it allows access to the phone book of the phone as it should do.
It has been tested on 2 phones and works with both so
Still going to keep trying the firmware update when i finally understand the technical process
