Heaviest element found

Xaccers · Unread post by **Xaccers** » 20 Apr 2010, 20:18

Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

Deanxm · Unread post by **Deanxm** » 20 Apr 2010, 20:37

Exellent

very relevant especially since its coming near the time when you have to decide if we want the idiots we have got for another few years or if we want some different idiots running the place instead.......................

D

KP · Unread post by KP » 21 Apr 2010, 11:08

I wish a simple party woudl form and tax tha pants off the rich and then reduce fuel duty and paupers tax and we would all be much better.

spider · Unread post by **spider** » 21 Apr 2010, 12:15

heh , excellent

Unread post by **CitroJim** » 21 Apr 2010, 12:27

There's an awful lot of truth in the definition of Governmentium. I'm not laughing because I suffer from the effects of it every day of my working life. The only good thing is that it only affects you when you're close-up and personal to it during the week.. It has no power to affect weekends...

Unread post by **myglaren** » 21 Apr 2010, 17:25

Shamelessly nicked and spread farther afield

ACTIVE8 · Unread post by **ACTIVE8** » 21 Apr 2010, 17:58

Thanks for that.

spider · Unread post by **spider** » 21 Apr 2010, 19:30

myglaren wrote:Shamelessly nicked and spread farther afield

Ditto

ACTIVE8 · Unread post by **ACTIVE8** » 22 Apr 2010, 11:35

spider wrote:
myglaren wrote:Shamelessly nicked and spread farther afield
Ditto

Ditto here it's going on a field trip too!