Joke I found funny...

[CitroJim]

Perhaps is was a pensioner

Love it

[myglaren]

Full English Roundabout

[CitroJim]

Full English Roundabout

Yum

[Hell Razor5543]

A friend of mine told me his wife had to go to jail. She had a screaming tantrum, smashed a load of things, and ended up smearing faeces on the walls.

Spoiler: show

They have since disposed of the Monopoly set.

[Rp0thejester]

My grandad had a parrot, it used to say, little boo beep lost her sheep.... silly bitch. If a parrot can remember it be careful what you say in front of kids.

[Stickyfinger]

My next door neighbour suffers badly with depression and is a keen believer in homeopathy.

He recently attempted suicide by taking an underdose..

[CitroJim]

My next door neighbour suffers badly with depression and is a keen believer in homeopathy.

He recently attempted suicide by taking an underdose..

[Stickyfinger]

There are no winners in this flag/roundabout painting game !

[MattBLancs]

My next door neighbour suffers badly with depression and is a keen believer in homeopathy.

He recently attempted suicide by taking an underdose..

Not sure if better or worse than overdosing on placebo!

[Stickyfinger]

[Stickyfinger]

My girlfriend asked me, what would I do to her if she was a blow up doll

Apparently, "let half of the air out" wasn't the correct answer.

[momag46]

Love it

[mickthemaverick]

No apologies, I just wrote this one myself!!:

Ryanair have decided to take advantage of AI and cut their cockpit crew by 50%. from next January all flights will have just one pilot and his smartphone which will be programmed with the following:

Before-Takeoff Checklist

Auxiliary fuel pump — Off
Flight controls — Free and correct
Instruments and radios — Checked and set
Landing gear position lights — Checked
Altimeter — Set
Directional gyro — Set
Fuel gauges — Checked
Trim — Set
Propeller — Exercise
Magnetos — Checked
Engine idle — checked
Flaps — As required
Seat belts/shoulder harnesses — Fastened
Parking brake — Off

Final items

Doors and windows — Locked
Mixture — Full rich unless above 3,000 feet msl
Lights — Landing, taxi, strobes on
Camera — Transponder on
Action — Engine instruments checked

Before-Landing Checklist

Fuel selector — Fullest tank
Directional gyro — Aligned with magnetic compass
Seat belts/shoulder harnesses — secure
Mixture — Full rich unless airport above 3,000 feet msl
Cowl flaps — As required

Final items

Landing gear — Down
Propeller — High rpm
Flaps — As required

You Can Fly !


The pilot will be briefed with this:

Spoiler: show

Charge the phone!

[Paul-R]

Haha, that's a variant of the astronaut and monkey joke.

[mickthemaverick]

Indeed it is Paul, but as I remember it the original would be unacceptable in today's world and classed as racist!!