Joke I found funny...
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Re: Joke I found funny...
= industry standard Check Engine warning lamp
Alasdair
Activa, the Moose Dodger
Activa, the Moose Dodger
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Ah, the light has struggled through.
As I get older I think a lot about the hereafter - I go into a room and then wonder what I'm here after.
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" ~ Homer J Simpson
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" ~ Homer J Simpson
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Stickyfinger wrote: 27 Jan 2025, 19:31 Enterprise must have been made by Steller-ntis...the plasma drive will need some more EOLYS and a reset

Jim
Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Nah, it'll think it needs some eolys, but it reality the computer is having to guess based on number of warp speeds and light years covered and there could be loads left.Stickyfinger wrote: 27 Jan 2025, 19:31 Enterprise must have been made by Steller-ntis...the plasma drive will need some more EOLYS and a reset
Or maybe the little magnet has dropped off the filler cap

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Re: Joke I found funny...
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
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Re: Joke I found funny...
I remember reading about the drama of the SS 'Flying Enterprise' as a boy.
James
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Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
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Re: Joke I found funny...
I have just read this on Instagram. It is worrying when possible jokes get taken a bit further than envisioned;
Christopher Straus, University of Chicago class of ’88, created the school’s first scavenger hunt, in 1987, envisioning a modest diversion, limited to his dorm, whose purpose was to instil a sense of camaraderie. These days, many of the items on that first list seem like easy pickings—a hula hoop (10 points), a training bra (25 points), a painting on velvet (20 points). Then again, Item No. 93 was a nude dean, bound and gagged (500 points).
Since then, scavvies have been asked to unboil an egg; induce a potato to break the sound barrier; eat their umbilical cord (one student, having persuaded his mother to express-mail the membranous keepsake she’d saved from his birth, stuck it into a Twinkie and swallowed it); get circumcised (someone did); and bring a lion, a tiger, or a bear to campus.
_____
In 1999, for five hundred points, a pair of physics students built a working nuclear breeder reactor in a Burton-Judson dorm room in one day, converting thorium powder collected from the inside of vacuum tubes into weapons-grade uranium, using a device made from scrap aluminium and carbon sheets. A concerned nuclear physicist attested to the machine’s efficacy.
Christopher Straus, University of Chicago class of ’88, created the school’s first scavenger hunt, in 1987, envisioning a modest diversion, limited to his dorm, whose purpose was to instil a sense of camaraderie. These days, many of the items on that first list seem like easy pickings—a hula hoop (10 points), a training bra (25 points), a painting on velvet (20 points). Then again, Item No. 93 was a nude dean, bound and gagged (500 points).
Since then, scavvies have been asked to unboil an egg; induce a potato to break the sound barrier; eat their umbilical cord (one student, having persuaded his mother to express-mail the membranous keepsake she’d saved from his birth, stuck it into a Twinkie and swallowed it); get circumcised (someone did); and bring a lion, a tiger, or a bear to campus.
_____
James
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Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
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Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
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Re: Joke I found funny...
99% of specialist vets refuse to carry out any procedures on any member of the Ursidae family of mammals unless the patient have been given a powerful anaesthetic.
- Spoiler: show
James
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Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
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Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Hell Razor5543 wrote: 29 Jan 2025, 12:27 99% of specialist vets refuse to carry out any procedures on any member of the Ursidae family of mammals unless the patient have been given a powerful anaesthetic.
<Spoiler>





Jim
Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
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Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of
the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this:
”Good morning This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”
”And the best of the day te yerself... This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann ‘s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn.”
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,
”Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”
There was dead silence on the line for a moment… Father O’Malley then replied:
‘Aye, ’tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.”
the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this:
”Good morning This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”
”And the best of the day te yerself... This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann ‘s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn.”
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,
”Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”
There was dead silence on the line for a moment… Father O’Malley then replied:
‘Aye, ’tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.”
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Re: Joke I found funny...
The bartender says: "We don't serve time travellers in here."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
A time traveller walks into a bar.
As I get older I think a lot about the hereafter - I go into a room and then wonder what I'm here after.
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" ~ Homer J Simpson
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" ~ Homer J Simpson
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- Forum Admin Team
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Woman stops 12 ft gator with .22 pistol! "Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol."
Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. Here's her story in her own words:
"While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water. It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. "
"If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!"
Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. Here's her story in her own words:
"While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water. It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. "
"If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!"
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Max Planck became a full professor at the University of Berlin at the age of 30, an unusually early age.
One day, having forgotten the lecture room he had been assigned to for a lecture, he stopped by the nearest university office to find out.
“Please, can you tell me in which lecture room Professor Planck is lecturing today?” he asked the old man in charge.
The old man patted him on the back and said,
“Take my advice, my boy. Don’t go there. You are too young to understand Professor Planck’s lectures.”
One day, having forgotten the lecture room he had been assigned to for a lecture, he stopped by the nearest university office to find out.
“Please, can you tell me in which lecture room Professor Planck is lecturing today?” he asked the old man in charge.
The old man patted him on the back and said,
“Take my advice, my boy. Don’t go there. You are too young to understand Professor Planck’s lectures.”
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Re: Joke I found funny...
This explains something, I studied chemical engineering in the 1970's at Sheffield and lots of things in heat transfer were difficult to understand. Pity it has taken nearly 50 years to realise why.myglaren wrote: 04 Feb 2025, 11:42 Max Planck became a full professor at the University of Berlin at the age of 30, an unusually early age.
One day, having forgotten the lecture room he had been assigned to for a lecture, he stopped by the nearest university office to find out.
“Please, can you tell me in which lecture room Professor Planck is lecturing today?” he asked the old man in charge.
The old man patted him on the back and said,
“Take my advice, my boy. Don’t go there. You are too young to understand Professor Planck’s lectures.”
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Thanx to Marc and all the admins & knowledgeable people that make this the best forum on the interweb.



