Joke I found funny...
Moderator: RichardW
- Huskyxantia
- Donor 2023
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Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
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Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw
Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .
Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice. - x 429
Re: Joke I found funny...
. A wife sent her husband a romantic text message… She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” Her husband texted back: “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”
Husky.
- Huskyxantia
- Donor 2023
- Posts: 2056
- Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
- Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
- My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw
Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .
Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice. - x 429
Re: Joke I found funny...
I was at a sophisticated dinner party the other day… when I farted loudly. One of the guests was appalled and said indignantly, “How dare you fart in front of my wife!” I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was her turn next
Husky.
- mickthemaverick
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Re: Joke I found funny...
I'm not too keen on toilet humour in general but this one did make me smile:
Two old men of the road, Nobby and Ned, were walking down the lane when Ned stopped, sniffed the air and turned to Nobby and asked "Have you soiled yourself Nobby?" "No I have not!" came the indignant reply. They strolled on. A few minutes later Ned stopped again sniffing, "Are you sure you haven't soiled yourself?" "NO! I told you" They strolled on again. After another few minutes Ned stopped and turned to Nobby "Nobby , I don't believe you, get them trousers off and prove it!!" Nobby obliged pulling down his jeans. A large log rolled out!! "There you are!! I told you you had soiled yourself!!" Cried Ned. Nobby looked at him in exasperation and yelled
Two old men of the road, Nobby and Ned, were walking down the lane when Ned stopped, sniffed the air and turned to Nobby and asked "Have you soiled yourself Nobby?" "No I have not!" came the indignant reply. They strolled on. A few minutes later Ned stopped again sniffing, "Are you sure you haven't soiled yourself?" "NO! I told you" They strolled on again. After another few minutes Ned stopped and turned to Nobby "Nobby , I don't believe you, get them trousers off and prove it!!" Nobby obliged pulling down his jeans. A large log rolled out!! "There you are!! I told you you had soiled yourself!!" Cried Ned. Nobby looked at him in exasperation and yelled
- Spoiler: show
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
- Huskyxantia
- Donor 2023
- Posts: 2056
- Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
- Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
- My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw
Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .
Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice. - x 429
- Huskyxantia
- Donor 2023
- Posts: 2056
- Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
- Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
- My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw
Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .
Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice. - x 429
Re: Joke I found funny...
A pirate walks into the doctor’s office:
Pirate: Doc, you got to help, me ship’s steering wheel got stuck to me crotch.
Doctor: So, what’s the problem?
Pirate: Doc… it’s driving me nuts!
Pirate: Doc, you got to help, me ship’s steering wheel got stuck to me crotch.
Doctor: So, what’s the problem?
Pirate: Doc… it’s driving me nuts!
Husky.
- Paul-R
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Late January 2021, Washington DC
One sunny day in late January 2021 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine repeated, "Sir, as I told you yesterday, Mr Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.
The third day, the old man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying again, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine, understandably irritated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you've been here asking to speak to Trump. I've told you each time that he's no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don't you get it?" The old man looked at the Marine and said,
"Oh, I understand, I just love hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."
One sunny day in late January 2021 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine repeated, "Sir, as I told you yesterday, Mr Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.
The third day, the old man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying again, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine, understandably irritated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you've been here asking to speak to Trump. I've told you each time that he's no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don't you get it?" The old man looked at the Marine and said,
"Oh, I understand, I just love hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."
As I get older I think a lot about the hereafter - I go into a room and then wonder what I'm here after.
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" ~ Homer J Simpson
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" ~ Homer J Simpson
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Thanx to Marc and all the admins & knowledgeable people that make this the best forum on the interweb.
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Re: Joke I found funny...
A friend of mine decided to try out rallying. Because it has four wheel drive he got a Suzuki Jimny, despite being advised it was not suitable. On his first rally through a twist section he did a Scandinavian Flick followed immediately by a Swiss Roll.
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
C5 2.2HDi VTX+
Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
ex BX 1.9
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- CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...
What's the difference between the Channel Tunnel and the M4?
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One goes underneath and the other goes over Neath...
I'll get my coat...
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One goes underneath and the other goes over Neath...
I'll get my coat...
Jim
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
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- Donor 2023
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- x 3008
Re: Joke I found funny...
Nearly, Jim, nearly. Looking at a map your punchline should read;
One goes underneath and the other goes under Neath.
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
C5 2.2HDi VTX+
Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
C5 2.2HDi VTX+
Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
- CitroJim
- A very naughty boy
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- x 6204
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Remember I'm ex-Government James and in our world near enough is good enoughHell Razor5543 wrote: ↑14 Jan 2021, 17:25
Nearly, Jim, nearly. Looking at a map your punchline should read;
One goes underneath and the other goes under Neath.
Jim
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
- mickthemaverick
- Donor 2024
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Re: Joke I found funny...
As the Dalek said, climbing off the dustbin!
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
- CitroJim
- A very naughty boy
- Posts: 49658
- Joined: 30 Apr 2005, 23:33
- Location: Paggers
- My Cars: Bluebell the AX, Polly the C3 Picasso, Pix the Nissan Pixo, Propel the duathlon bike, TCR Pro the road bike and Fuji the TT bike...
- x 6204
- Contact:
Re: Joke I found funny...
Jim
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...