1) Buy a stock of Smarties, sort them into their different colours,
2) For effect buy a white coat (optional)
3) When the patient arrives give a dose of the yellow Smarties and tell him to take 2 -four times a day for a fortnight.
There are three possible results,
1) he gets better (What a wonderful doctor you are)
2) He gets worse, move him on to the red Smarties for two weeks.
3) He dies............If only he had come to you sooner.
![Sad :(](./images/smilies/icon_sad.gif)
If he survives all this refer him on to a specialist.