He tried to do it outside her flat in the rain with his tool kit from Wish
My mate was asked if he could loan the moron a hammer & an impact driver. Suffice to say, said moron hadn't a clue what he was doing and managed to damage the T50 disc retaining bolt. So up to his driveway and this is when the poo hit the massive fan 
Instead of using trolley jacks and axle stands, moron used the Mini's own emergency jack and some decrepit scissor on the other side. Both front wheels off.... Can you see where this is going?
Tried, failed, to drill the T50 and 3 bits in, couldn't drill the heads off. So having hammered (yes, "hammered") the pads in (because clown shoes didn't have the wit, or the tools, to clean the pad carriers) he proceeded to re mount the drivers side wheel. So, because they are aftermarket, they have spacers, which make them tricky to mount. So clown shoes pushes against the hub and.....Mini falls off jacks
](./images/smilies/eusa_wall.gif "Brick wall"){kind=small}
It fell hard onto the passenger side disc (which still fortunately had it's T50 intact), while the driver side wheel disappeared up inside the arch, damaging the wing, under arch lining, headlamp retaining bracket, etc.
So a week later, I get the call. "Can you fix the brakes?"
Then another call explaining all of the above, with mate saying this was news to him! She was both angry and embarrassed.
Car duly arrives and I inspect the damage, all of which I can fix, alongside the brakes. It took 4hrs to right the wrongs of the bent parts and a further several hours to fix everything specified.
The discs were removed with a grinder, such was the damage to the T50. The carriers were cleaned using the wire brush in the other grinder. The pads were degreased using a litre of brake clean (he had smothered the backs of the pads with so much grease, it was migrating to the discs). Then everything was set up for the reinstallation. But 1st I had to change the drivers side wheel bearing. Very easy on the Mini. 4 bolts, undo CV shaft nut and Bob's your uncle.... Except, he wasn't! The CV shaft was welded in with rust & eventually required a sledge hammer to persuade it to move
Cue new CV end. Wrong one! 3 days later, another wrong one arrived!! So go elsewhere & they order correct one, "It'll be here Friday at 2pm!" OK.
Turns out they placed the order, but warehouse forgot to add it to the basket.... Finally Tuesday, it arrives & is 100% correct
All fitted & I'm happy. Quick test run, I discover 5ft, that moron clown shoes had got the wrong pads.... It was the rear pads, which were also sticking
So I buy rear pads & go through the same thorough de rusting & cleaning on the carriers. Discs aren't great, but I cleaned them & they'll last another service.So finally get to take the car on an extended test run and before even turning a wheel, I see the radiator dripping
Turns out the clatter had also damaged the radiator. The aluminium crimp had become slightly dislodged, but was holding enough. However, since the car had sat for best part of 2 weeks, I imagine part of the seal on the plastic end had been open to air and likely shrunk. So when I fire her up, the pressure build up forced it out and away she went.
New radiator next day and we're all good... I'll get that flamin test drive yet
So off I went and hear a bearing on the left side. Quite bad, so take it to mates GF & let her hear it. We come back to mine, all the while it's getting louder!?! Wheel bearings normally last ages before gradually getting worse! So I jack it up & wife arrives so chat going on and the GF mentions something I hadn't bee aware of in so many words. It had fallen very hard on the left disc, but at an angle, as if someone had thrown it sideways.... So I am wheel off, rotating the shaft, feeling the diff end and I don't like what I feel & mention it. However, many chats later, I am persuaded it's just the wheel bearing, but my inner voice is telling me otherwise. But save money & time, do the wheel hub bearing.
So we close the car up to go have tea & I run her home in my car "the ever reliable Berlingo"
However, now the bleedin door window wouldn't go up!!!!! I'll do it later.If anyone ever has a BMW Mini with a sticky window, remove some door plastics, the big speaker and other plastics, get access to the front of the window mech and use an artist paint brush to dab some silicone grease on the lower runners and a long lever on the bottom of the glass and a finger on the button to encourage it to move past the sticky spot and get it up an inch or two. At the other end, there is a rubber inspection cap to allow you to grease the rear section of the lower runners, do that too. But put enough on so it will carry it up the track. The window s now working beautifully
New bearing later and Job done. FINALLY, get to test drive it and...... STILL bearing whine
So now it's gearbox off as I spotted a misting & a weep of oil at the left diff shaft output. My best guess is the clatter and the severe left landing allowed some movement in the rubber bushes of the wishbone, forcing the shaft inwards against the bearings.
The BMW Mini has tapered rollers, so I can only imagine the cage on the rollers gat damaged and the weeks worth of driving before it came to me has caused much movement, hence the worsening noise & weeping of oil. The gearbox itself appears fine. Nice smooth changes, no noises of ay kind. So I'm hoping this is an end to it.
That brake job should have cost £160 tops. But the parts list alone is 4 x that. The labour is a LOT less than a garage, but my time is way past the norm due to stupidity and rust. I have the tools to deal with all the eventualities, but it needn't have come to this.
And all because she wanted to save a few quid on garage Rates
Saves an awful lot of hassle 
That's left me speechless...
The lies get my male mammary gland!!!
