All the Johns I have known
-
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 2145
- Joined: 15 Apr 2021, 14:32
- x 698
All the Johns I have known
Like most people I have, over the years, met a lot of interesting people and, by co-incidence, many of them are called John (and if they are Scottish Iain as well). So a sort of shorthand has been used to identify them all. I have an Automatic John who taught me how to service and rebuild Mini automatics, a Doctor John who dabbled in rallying and led me to met lots of other interesting people, Big John who worked alongside my wife as a nurse but whose nose was not the right shape or colour to progress upwards in the NHS, Wee John, J D his father, J B a family friend whom our dog Butch loved more than us. You get the picture.
So if anybody wants to chip in their reminisences about favourite names for people go ahead.
I plan to add a few anecdotes about each of them as I go along, but I am going to start (shortly) with a Hugh. He was an avid rally fan, builder and driver and for a time I had the pleasure to be his assistant and service crew. His nickname was Juan. More to follow.
So if anybody wants to chip in their reminisences about favourite names for people go ahead.
I plan to add a few anecdotes about each of them as I go along, but I am going to start (shortly) with a Hugh. He was an avid rally fan, builder and driver and for a time I had the pleasure to be his assistant and service crew. His nickname was Juan. More to follow.
-
- Forum Treasurer
- Posts: 11687
- Joined: 07 Aug 2002, 17:12
- x 1225
Re: All the Johns I have known
My Dad is a John (West, so some amusement viz a viz tins of Salmon
) - and it just happens to be his birthday today!

Richard W
-
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 2145
- Joined: 15 Apr 2021, 14:32
- x 698
Re: All the Johns I have known
Happy birthday to John. May he and you enjoy many more.
-
- (Donor 2022)
- Posts: 2330
- Joined: 29 May 2017, 13:50
- x 693
Re: All the Johns I have known
Funnily enough, I have a “Scottish John” amongst my close friends 
-
- Forum Admin Team
- Posts: 26793
- Joined: 02 Mar 2008, 14:30
- x 5187
Re: All the Johns I have known
Only four, a school friend in the fifties, John Moth.
A workmate when we were apprentices. Not seen since mid sixties.
A customer who also owned the local papershop, moved to Spain twenty five years ago.
My son in law. Christened Johnnypants by my daughter.
A workmate when we were apprentices. Not seen since mid sixties.
A customer who also owned the local papershop, moved to Spain twenty five years ago.
My son in law. Christened Johnnypants by my daughter.
-
- (Donor 2020)
- Posts: 7673
- Joined: 08 Jun 2011, 18:04
- x 2706
Re: All the Johns I have known
My name's Eric so when I heard my neighbour shouting Eric I went out to se what she wanted, turns out she's named her new sausage dog Eric. 

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. (Albert Einstein)
-
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 2145
- Joined: 15 Apr 2021, 14:32
- x 698
Re: All the Johns I have known
Nice one, Eric! You not the dog.
-
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 15471
- Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
- x 6623
Re: All the Johns I have known
I've had too many Johns in my life, John Keegan, John Parkes and John Bliss work colleagues at BT, Uncle John and his son - cousin John, My mate Bob's brother John, John across the road who has recently suffered a heart attack, then of course all playing a significant part in my life, Elton John, John Lennon and John the Baptist!! 

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
-
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 2145
- Joined: 15 Apr 2021, 14:32
- x 698
Re: All the Johns I have known
We have had a Salmon John to add to the list already today so I am now going add a Juan.
Juan (Hugh) had already been given his nickname by his friends before I knew him. For the sake of blaming someone for this appalling moniker I am going to blame Deputy Dawg, a serving police officer at the time. Dawg had the twisted sense of humour that not everyone found funny. For instance, he and a colleague followed me in my van all the way through Aderdeen out to the Bridge of Don where they pulled me up with blues and twos outside the Black Dog pub (hence Dawg). Dawg sat in the police car while colleague came up and calm as you like tried to engage me in a spurious pretext but I lambasted him and told him if Dawg tried this stunt again his dog's bits would be lacerated and fed to him. Now if I had been wrong about who was in the car my feet would not have touched! I was right though. Both bobbies thought it was hilarious as a crowd poured out of the Black Dog to see what was going on.
Now on a particularly tough Rally taking in Knockhill circuit and forest stages both sides of Kincardine bridge, Juan cracked the complete boot floor and rear panel away from the rear chassis leg and as the dry sump oil tank was now floating free, I set about welding up the floor and back panel. My instructions to Dawg and the rest of the crew was to stand by with fire extinguishers in case I set fire to anything. Health and Safety? What Health and Safety - this is rally servicing against the 20 min clock! Anyway, this wasn't good enough for Dawg who then tried to pour petrol from a jerry can into the fuel tank, also at the rear of the car. I think everybody in and around Knockhill service area heard what I thought about Dawg's parentage and his IQ rating. Properly chastised, from that moment on, he never ever tried to fool about anywhere near me ever again! Even Juan who normally took everything in his stride was open mouthed when Dawg tried to incinerate all of us. So, TR7, now patched up and only front brakes ( another story), was refuelled and just made the Time Control for the next stage.
Now what this convoluted story is for is to reveal that Juan's second name was Keir. There were definitely two of them that day!
Juan (Hugh) had already been given his nickname by his friends before I knew him. For the sake of blaming someone for this appalling moniker I am going to blame Deputy Dawg, a serving police officer at the time. Dawg had the twisted sense of humour that not everyone found funny. For instance, he and a colleague followed me in my van all the way through Aderdeen out to the Bridge of Don where they pulled me up with blues and twos outside the Black Dog pub (hence Dawg). Dawg sat in the police car while colleague came up and calm as you like tried to engage me in a spurious pretext but I lambasted him and told him if Dawg tried this stunt again his dog's bits would be lacerated and fed to him. Now if I had been wrong about who was in the car my feet would not have touched! I was right though. Both bobbies thought it was hilarious as a crowd poured out of the Black Dog to see what was going on.
Now on a particularly tough Rally taking in Knockhill circuit and forest stages both sides of Kincardine bridge, Juan cracked the complete boot floor and rear panel away from the rear chassis leg and as the dry sump oil tank was now floating free, I set about welding up the floor and back panel. My instructions to Dawg and the rest of the crew was to stand by with fire extinguishers in case I set fire to anything. Health and Safety? What Health and Safety - this is rally servicing against the 20 min clock! Anyway, this wasn't good enough for Dawg who then tried to pour petrol from a jerry can into the fuel tank, also at the rear of the car. I think everybody in and around Knockhill service area heard what I thought about Dawg's parentage and his IQ rating. Properly chastised, from that moment on, he never ever tried to fool about anywhere near me ever again! Even Juan who normally took everything in his stride was open mouthed when Dawg tried to incinerate all of us. So, TR7, now patched up and only front brakes ( another story), was refuelled and just made the Time Control for the next stage.
Now what this convoluted story is for is to reveal that Juan's second name was Keir. There were definitely two of them that day!
-
- (Donor 2022)
- Posts: 2330
- Joined: 29 May 2017, 13:50
- x 693
Re: All the Johns I have known
Slighty OT: My gran used to name everyone after what they did or delivered..
George Egg
Alan Fish
Ronnie Windows
Etc…. I genuinely thought George Egg was his real name when I was a kid
George Egg
Alan Fish
Ronnie Windows
Etc…. I genuinely thought George Egg was his real name when I was a kid
-
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 2145
- Joined: 15 Apr 2021, 14:32
- x 698
Re: All the Johns I have known
Just so Salmon John doesn't feel picked on, I should say that I have named two prominent Scottish politicians as Nicky Fish and Ecky Fish.
-
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 2145
- Joined: 15 Apr 2021, 14:32
- x 698
Re: All the Johns I have known
sounds perfectly logical to me.Michel wrote: 08 Jun 2021, 20:18 Slighty OT: My gran used to name everyone after what they did or delivered..
George Egg
Alan Fish
Ronnie Windows
Etc…. I genuinely thought George Egg was his real name when I was a kid
-
- Forum Admin Team
- Posts: 26793
- Joined: 02 Mar 2008, 14:30
- x 5187
Re: All the Johns I have known
Shouldn't that be 'ecky thump?Dormouse wrote: 08 Jun 2021, 20:23 Just so Salmon John doesn't feel picked on, I should say that I have named two prominent Scottish politicians as Nicky Fish and Ecky Fish.
One I forgot
Doctor John The Night Tripper: Black John the Conqueror.
-
- Forum Admin Team
- Posts: 26793
- Joined: 02 Mar 2008, 14:30
- x 5187
Re: All the Johns I have known
And another two.
Both John Dryden.
One the friend of a friend, the other my brother in law, late wife's twin brother.
I have a filter on my memory that randomises everything and only allows the odd unconnected item through
Both John Dryden.
One the friend of a friend, the other my brother in law, late wife's twin brother.
I have a filter on my memory that randomises everything and only allows the odd unconnected item through