Most petty ailments last only about fourteen days then go away without treatment.
Get a few packs of Smarties, sort out the red ones and yellow ones.
When your patient arrives check him with your stethoscope, prescribe him the yellow ‘pills’ four a day for two weeks.
There are only three outcomes, he can get better, get worse or die.
Two weeks on if he’s better you’re a wonderful doctor, if he gets worse move him on to the stronger red ‘pills’
If that doesn’t fix him refer him on to a specialist.
If he dies................"well if only he’d come to me sooner."
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