Notices..what have you spotted?

[NewcastleFalcon]

I detest but also enjoy notices in equal measure, especially if a sarcastic or genuinely funny comment can be added. Might be nice to start a collection...see how it goes...they are all over the place so easy to find, and the unintended absurdities in them can be entertaining.

Here's one from me to kick it off.....spotted today...the only shop/cafe for 10 miles or so....but unable to cope it seems with the "hoards" of weekend cyclists darkening its doors on a Saturday, but just a Saturday. I think I would be alright even if I went on a bike on a Saturday if I parked the bike round the corner and walked in. That's because I wouldn't have any cycling gear on. As long as I remembered to remove my bicycle clips from my trouser bottoms I could get a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich!

N Falcon Own Work

Regards Neil

[white exec]

One of my favourites was PLEASE DO NOT THROW STONES AT THIS NOTICE.
And the car rear-window jobbie IF YOU'RE FOLLOWING ME AND CAN READ THIS, YOU'RE TOO DAMNED CLOSE.
And the sign in the clairvoyant's shop window, SORRY - CLOSED - DUE TO UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES.

[myglaren]

[myglaren]

[NewcastleFalcon]

That's the sort of stuff Steve!

I have amended this a touch, but never accept notices at pure face value, even the simplest can have an alternative meaning with a bit of context added for amusement....

Regards Neil

[elma]

pitchup.com

Unknown.jpeg (9.25 KiB) Viewed 1825 times

This always cracked me up.
More a sign than a notice.
It's in Epping Forest somewhere we used to drive and cycle a lot in our teens.

Another favourite was the M and S kitchen knife with the warning "keep out of children", sadly can't find a picture.

[Hell Razor5543]

In the past, on the Isle of Wight, it was not uncommon to see (during August) signs in shops saying they would not serve scooter riders (as there would be a lot of them on the island, for a festival). One girl my cousin knew worked (for a while) in such a shop, and she rode a scooter to work. When the sign went up she queried it, and was told it did not apply to her. What did apply to her was the fact that she then applied for employment elsewhere. Tesco normally set up an area in the car park for scooters during August.

[NewcastleFalcon]

Scotlands got one as well (secret bunker that is!)

http://www.ilike.org.uk/images/bunker.jpg

and a little town called Dull, twinned with another appropriately named town in Oregon, USA



Regards Neil

[van ordinaire]

Chris, you beat me to it: "DO NOT THROW STONES AT THIS NOTICE" was the one that immediately came to mind - an absolute classic!

One that has recently appeared outside London Bridge satation is "Beware of the Cyclists" A sign of the times, one might say.

[NewcastleFalcon]

While originals spottings will always carry that little bit of extra kudos should you ever be in the vicinity of the University of Southhampton School of Nursing and Midwifery with your camera you may spot this....

http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/ ... s_rear.jpg

Regards Neil

[CitroJim]

Spotted in a nature reserve on one of my many bike rides...

Own Work

[white exec]

Not forgetting the ubiquitous BILL POSTERS WILL BE PROSECUTED.
What did he do...?

And some bygones...
GENTLEMEN LIFT THE SEAT (public toilets - or maybe a loyal toast? or definition of a gentleman?)
DO NOT USE THE TOILET WHILE STANDING IN A STATION (B.R. trains)
YOU MAY PARK YOUR BIKE HERE (Outside a Girls' school in London)
KEEP OFF THE GRASS (often with added graffiti, in the 'Sixties)
NO STOPPING (M25)

[CitroJim]

YOU MAY PARK YOUR BIKE HERE (Outside a Girls' school in London)

That one made me howl Chris...

Slightly off-topic and now very un-PC for which I apologise now if anyone is in the least offended..

A bit of graffiti on a London railway viaduct seen in the early 70s...

'Wog's OUT'

Some wit had written under it the following
.

.

.

.

'But he'll be back soon!'

I used it to teach my children the correct use of apostrophes...

[Peter.N.]

Our local breakers yard many years ago had a notice on the gate "guard dogs loose, survivors will be prosecuted"

Peter

[RichardW]

Mis use of apostrophes is one of my bug bears....

Worst (or best depending on how you look at it) was a seed packet stand in a garden centre proudly proclaiming "Grow some of histories finest seeds".

I spent quite a while wondering how many parallel universes with separate histories there were!