Book Of ....

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ACTIVE8
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Book Of ....

Post by ACTIVE8 »

Look what has been listed on a property website!

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/commercial-p ... miumA=true

The BOL base is up for sale.

As the museum is at a seperate site, despite this listing it should not be affected.

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bobins
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Re: Book Of.....................

Post by bobins »

Maybe a good time to list some of the BOL translations :-D

Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles!

Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey!

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you
are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size).

Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to
dig out the bayonet part.

Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead
are throbbing them re-check the manual because this can not be 'lightly'
what you are doing now.

Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!

Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!

Haynes: One spanner rating.
Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low,
tiny, 'ikkle number... but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of
the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating.
Translation: But Nova's are easy to maintain right... right? So you think
three Nova spanners has got to be like a 'regular car' two spanner job.

Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!

Haynes: Five spanner rating.
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride in it afterwards!!!

Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at,
throw at the garage wall, then search in the dark corner of the garage for
whilst muttering "bugger" repeatedly under your breath.

Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking
at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought,
it's going to need a new one"

Haynes: Carefully......
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!

Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant.......
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark pugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder.
Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you can start to
feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...

Haynes: Everyday tool kit
Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone

Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to
do!

ACTIVE8
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by ACTIVE8 »

As this article below is from a while ago, has it been listed for that long?

http://www.classicandsportscar.com/news ... on-manuals

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NewcastleFalcon
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by NewcastleFalcon »

I've bought a Haynes Manual for every car I have ever owned, although I haven't got one just yet for the Xsara Picasso, haven't put a spanner on it yet.

All my old manuals are what may be described on e-bay as very poor condition, but for some reason I still have them all.

They have some interesting new titles, flicked through the Thomas the Tank Engine manual....nice and colourful, bit about how to drive Thomas, and the workings of a steam engine....I'm sure I would have found it appealing and inspirational alongside the Beano and Dandy in my younger days.

Image

Regards Neil

Peter.N.
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by Peter.N. »

My CX manual stated on overhauling the rear suspension, after removing the suspension arm and bearings, 'thoroughly clean the interior of the car' I though this was possibly to give time to regain your sanity, I pointed it out to them at the motor show - and they subsequently changed it, should have read 'tube'.

Peter

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CitroJim
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by CitroJim »

Peter.N. wrote:My CX manual stated on overhauling the rear suspension, after removing the suspension arm and bearings, 'thoroughly clean the interior of the car' I though this was possibly to give time to regain your sanity, I pointed it out to them at the motor show - and they subsequently changed it, should have read 'tube'.
:rofl2: Love it...

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bobins
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by bobins »

If there could only ever be one '6 spanner difficulty' rating awarded to a repair procedure on a French car, what would it be ? What is the most ludicrous, senseless, time-consuming, sanity-testing, downright frustratiing and difficult job to do ? I only ask as I want to make sure I never buy the car that it belongs to :)

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CitroJim
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by CitroJim »

bobins wrote:If there could only ever be one '6 spanner difficulty' rating awarded to a repair procedure on a French car, what would it be ?
Easy... :twisted:

Xantia heater matrix;
Xantia pinion valve;
S1 XM speedo cable...

There are other but the mental scarring as blocked them for now...

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xantia_v6
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by xantia_v6 »

CitroJim wrote:
bobins wrote:If there could only ever be one '6 spanner difficulty' rating awarded to a repair procedure on a French car, what would it be ?
Easy... :twisted:

Xantia heater matrix;
Xantia pinion valve;
S1 XM speedo cable...

There are other but the mental scarring as blocked them for now...
4HP20 filter change???

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CitroJim
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by CitroJim »

xantia_v6 wrote:
CitroJim wrote:
bobins wrote:If there could only ever be one '6 spanner difficulty' rating awarded to a repair procedure on a French car, what would it be ?
Easy... :twisted:

Xantia heater matrix;
Xantia pinion valve;
S1 XM speedo cable...

There are other but the mental scarring as blocked them for now...
4HP20 filter change???
Yes!!!! very much so... Only case I know where an engine has to come out and a gearbox needs to be fully stripped just to replace a filter :twisted:

wheeler
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by wheeler »

bobins wrote:If there could only ever be one '6 spanner difficulty' rating awarded to a repair procedure on a French car, what would it be ? What is the most ludicrous, senseless, time-consuming, sanity-testing, downright frustratiing and difficult job to do ? I only ask as I want to make sure I never buy the car that it belongs to :)
Brake servo on a C8 (You need to remove the engine)
The O/S/F Hydractive 3+ pipe 'loom' on a C5

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CitroJim
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by CitroJim »

I can feel this is going to become a very interesting thread!!!

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xantos
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by xantos »

Synergie V6 changing spark plugs engine has to come out (as far as I know).
TCT engine clutch change, just the part when you have to align forks and clutch bearing (grrrrrrrrrr!!! :evil: )

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CitroJim
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by CitroJim »

xantos wrote: TCT engine clutch change, just the part when you have to align forks and clutch bearing (grrrrrrrrrr!!! :evil: )
Can't agree, that's only a 5 and a half spanner job :rofl2: :twisted:

RichardW
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Re: Book Of ....

Post by RichardW »

No 4 glow plug on a bosch pumped 1.9TD
Xantia clutch clip
C4 Picasso pollen filter

OK, none are that difficult per-se, but they could be easier - and the C4 should be orders of magnitude easier given that it is an annual service item!!!