Life on the edge - returning to the fold!!!

Tell us your ongoing tales and experiences with your French car here. Post pictures of your car here as well.

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Hell Razor5543
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

Otterchops, with reference to Cruise Control, ask Daddy to get those instructions off CitroJim. They explain things well, with photographs to help. My C5 now has Cruise Control, and seems to like it. It may be that it will only kick in when in a high enough gear and travelling at a cruising speed (it did not run at 30MPH in 3rd gear), but it definitely works at 70MPH in 5th gear.

BenC5HDi
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by BenC5HDi »

It works above 30mph in 4th and 5th on the Berlingo. I'd expect the C5 to be the same, in fact I seem to recall it is from my last C5.

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends!

Papa now has the instructions from CitroJim and iPad tells me he has been looking on eBay for suitable parts. Even better, he has found out that I have two brake switches so that should ease the pain. A bit. I think. I hope. I wonder what option he will go for?

Hell Razor5543
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

Check out the local scrappy. Might be cheaper. I got mine off a similar age Xsara Picasso. £10 - £15.

Hell Razor5543
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

When you get around to fitting the Cruise Control stalk, check that it latches into place before refitting the cowling, and is secure and has hardly any movement.. There appear to be several designs of COM2000 unit, and these are all slightly different from each other. As a consequence the Cruise Control stalk may need a spacer for allow it to line up properly or (in my case) the spacer may need to be removed. If you get a stalk without the spacer, and find you need one, let me know. I still have the one that I removed.

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CitroJim
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by CitroJim »

Delighted the instructions have helped :)

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends.

I am a worried girl.

Papa put me back on Lexia today. Last week, Lexia refused to work and Papa went purple and said a lot of naughty words. I thought Lexia was going to feel the underside of his big hammer but he restrained himself. This time, Lexia worked as reliably as I do! Papa scratched his head, mumbled some swears and got on with it!

He has found out where to program in my remote keys and immobiliser chips so now needs to spend money on a key code for me. A previous owner (no way was HE a Papa!) lost my code so Papa will have to fight off his Wallet again! However, he has also discovered that my computers have had a major falling out.

BSI will not talk to ABS at all although listens to ABS chuntering away in the background, falls out regularly with my instruments and the engine ECU has to mediate. Relations are also strained with the suspension and air con computers, I do hope that the key code will allow Papa to sort these out. It is so embarrassing to be driven with my computers arguing all the time, Papa thinks BSI needs Teaching A Lesson,

I do wish Papa's Lexia would learn German, French or English. When it does try to speak a language I understand, it does so with a very strange accent and I struggle. Even Papa's computer, a very well mannered Toshiba, cannot properly understand Lexia and Ginger speaks Japanese and Chinese so what language Lexia twitters away in is a mystery to us all!

Ho hum,

Anyway, goodnight, Friends.

Otterchops,

Hell Razor5543
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

Otterchops, while I cannot recall the exact details, I remember that some Instrumentation errors are known 'ghosts', and can be ignored. I will have to try and find the details.

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daviemck2006
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Re: RE: Re: The diary of a C5

Post by daviemck2006 »

Hell Razor5543 wrote:Otterchops, while I cannot recall the exact details, I remember that some Instrumentation errors are known 'ghosts', and can be ignored. I will have to try and find the details.
I think that may be the ghosts of previous keepers of otterchops who have done the bodges. Karma has got them and made into ghosts to fly about the computers as unimportant errors to be ignored for all of time [emoji12]

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!

I had some fun tonight on the way home from Moseley!

The temperature was 21 C but I wanted to see if Papa was awake so I,made my dashboard outside temperature readout go all the way down to -2 C! His face was a picture!

Maman was getting worried so I made it work properly then. But,it is nice to surprise Papa,sometimes. We Citroens have a mind of our own. And Otterchops has Atitude!

Have fun, my friends,

Otterchops!

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CitroJim
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by CitroJim »

I like your style Otterchops!

Hell Razor5543
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

Well, the weather has been unusual recently (a fortnight or so back I had to scrape the glasswork of my van!), so maybe Papa thought the weather was at fault!

BenC5HDi
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Re: RE: Re: The diary of a C5

Post by BenC5HDi »

Hell Razor5543 wrote:Well, the weather has been unusual recently
Your job title should be "master of the understatement"



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Hell Razor5543
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

Just a thought, Otterchops. You may well want to ask Papa to consider doing a BSi reset (DON'T run for cover, you!), as it may well clear down any glitches that may have cropped up over time (as opposed to problems that are really there). If he hasn't done so already, here is the procedure (STOP TRYING TO DELETE IT!);

http://www.frenchcarforum.co.uk/forum/v ... 11&t=40407

Think of it as the human equivalent of a health spa. Good spas help humans feel rejuvenated after a stay. You know that Papa is trying to do what is right for you (as opposed to those Muppets who have not known when to back off and ask for help).

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Stickyfinger
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Stickyfinger »

Think of it as the human equivalent of a health spa. Good spas help humans feel rejuvenated after a stay. You know that Papa is trying to do what is right for you (as opposed to those Muppets who have not known when to back off and ask for help).
Or a digital lobotomy