Life on the edge - the Diary of a C5

[Xantianut]

Ay up!

I am a part time mechanic and tutor at a training centre mainly for kids with learning difficulties. We also have a couple of groups of NACRO kids doing a Modern Apprenticeship. Fifi is being maintained in the perfect place. Its the old Sunbeam Factory.

Fifi is my daily transport and about to begin a major tidy-up. A deal for leather seats has been struck with one of my fellow forumites (saving pocket money!) and body repair will begin once we have a slot. Numerous dents need sorting with touching up of the paint as well. Plus repainting the black trim. Plenty to keep me busy, then.

We've been repairing a head gasket on a 306 GTI, a head rebuild on a Renault Megane and I've just spent the best part of two days removing the thermostat housing from a 2006 Ford Fiesta! At least the replacement part is cheap - £16 ex-Fleabay. Plus we have a 306 converrtible which belongs to a student and is a long term project. After this, a Daewoo Matiz for a pair of wheel bearings and front brakes then it will be adopted by one of our staff members.

[Xantianut]

Ay up!

The new wheel studs have arrived so I got out our Laser wheel stud extractor set and tried to remove the old ones. The Laser set has a left-handed thread which, in theory, should grip the old stud and extract it. £23 down the drain! I have donated it to the Centre and bought a set of Irwin bolt extractors. Should have done that in the bleedin' first place!

The thermostat housing has arrived and Richard said "Keep the change." So I've treated Fifi to a new set of boot badges.

Now, what do I replace the LX badge with.....

Or do I keep it......

What do y'all reckon? She will be getting a leather interior....

[Xantianut]

Ay up!

One of our staff members asked me to "Take a look at a water leak on my 2006 Fiesta 1.4 Ghia," So I did. And lived to regret it.

The problem was a failed O-ring seal on the thermostat outlet. Sounds easy? The job we used to give the apprentice? Not on this SOB. The engine is, I believe, basically a Kent under all the gubbins for engine management, fuel injection etc, etc but the engine bay is incredibly cramped. I have discovered that the only way to remove the alternator is to take out the offside headlamp and "manipulate" it through the hole in the front and seriously thought about removing the power steering pump to take off the themostat. Think I'm joking? I have the cuts and bruises on my arm to prove it! In the end, I didn't bother removing it and managed to find a corner for it in the bay. Why remove the alternator? To get at the top bolts. Then up in the air to get at the visible bottom bolt. It took two days of grunting and swearing at it fit to scorch the paint before I discovered a bolt in the underside of the fitting that was completely invisible and a pig to find even with an extended digit. I had then to remember where it was so I could get an 8mm socket onto it. Fleabay came to the rescue, not only for a replacement part but also a decent piccie of the &%$£ that I was taking off!

Even worse, under test the blasted thing started peeing again. So I gotta do it all over again. I will never again say that Citroen is the home of daft mechanical design - this Fiesta beats it hands down!

(fortissimo)

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH, 'twas on the Monday morning, the gas man came to call........"

[Xantianut]

Ay up!

Timken Vocationa Training are "doing" a Church Fete in Wolves on October 6th.

Nowt like a deadline to concentrate the mind, is there?

There I was, minding my own business on Friday when I was waylaid into an impromptu staff meeting in the canteen regarding a fete that Steph, our chief cook, had registered the Centre for. I was asked what the Motor Mechanics section could do. I was stuck for an answer.

We have:

1 Rover 216i, very tatty and out of Tax and MOT.

2 Daewoo Matix, in reasonable nick but out of Tax and MOT.

3. Ford Escort Mv V cabrio - the Boss's transport.

4 Puegeot 306 cabrio - no Tax or MOT but tidy.

5 Porsche 924S - an Ubershed off the road for over 20 yeard.

6 Fifi - street legal but rather tatty.

Steph wanted summat presentable, street legal and motor vehicle shaped. Looks like Fifi's resto schedule has been brought forward. I reckon I've been backed into a corner meself but work will begin Monday.

[Xantianut]

Ay up!

The starting point:

As you can see, better than it could have been. The seats are very ratty indeed, especially the driver's so thanks to CXM of this parish for the offer of a leather one. The chrome is simply disgusting and so new has been ordered. Due to the state of the door top moulidings, I have decided to smooth these down, fill as needed then add a chrome accent on them, extending round the base of the rear screen. The rear screen rubber is in poor shape so I'll put a chrome bead on top of that.

The biggest problem is a rust hole slap bang in the middle of the NSR wing. Very odd. Why? Maybe I'll find out when I assault it with an angle grinder!

During this assessment I have at least discovered when the car was in a front end shunt. All the lights are marked 1995.

[Xantianut]

Ay up!

My rear suspension is stuck on "high" so you can imagine what that's doing to my arthritic back! So it'll be a bit of this on the worshop ramp to sort it! I reckon meself that the linkage to it has seized, mainly because I forgot to do Citearobics for a few years, so who's fault is this?

However, she did carry my model railway from it's "home" at Wolverhampton Model Railway Club to Timken's place and them back without complaining, so I reckon that Fifi has decided it's time SHE had some attention lavished upon her. Again. As if the promise of new paint and chrome isn't enough!

Nothing French-related going on in the workshop at the moment. We will be doing the front brakes on a Daewoo Matiz (The Beast!!!) so we can flog it, otherwise teaching goes on using a scrofulous Rover 216.

Tuesday was nice. The Boss arranged for some of the kids to go out to Gailey Lea to do a bit of sailing and it was strongly suggested that I go. I have been terrified of water ever since some pushed me in the deep end, shouting "This'll lurn thee ta swim!" I was persuaded to have a go at sailing first and it was a good as I'd hoped it would be. Within a few seconds, I'd lost me nerves and decided it was just like Swallows and Amazons. Then it was into the kayak for a mad paddle round the lake. That was tiring! Problem I had was that the seat in the kayak set off my trapped nerves so I had little sleep Tuesday night. Oh, and our Internet was down!

[citronut]

Ay up!

My rear suspension is stuck on "high" so you can imagine what that's doing to my arthritic back! So it'll be a bit of this on the worshop ramp to sort it! I reckon meself that the linkage to it has seized, mainly because I forgot to do Citearobics for a few years, so who's fault is this?

it will be the doggy bone poped of or the link to the anti roll bar sheared off,

but it will have been caused by the height corrector turrets seized

[Xantianut]

Ay up!

Thanks for that CN. I shall marshall the tools Monday. Where's me big hammer?

Ah, the 4lb-er. That's do. Here, Fifi...

EDIT:

Just done some Citerobics. She's slow up at the back but, once started, goes right up to the full height, giving me a ride that's even worse than a pre-hydrolastic Mini! Moving the height lever affects the front instantly, but has no effect on the back. I gotta find my camera for this: with the lever in "depressurise" she looks like a '50s street rod!

[Xantianut]

Ay up!

Check this out:

The ride at the back is very !!

[myglaren]

I had those same symptoms on mine and as Malcolm says, most likely the dog bone but with an underlying cause.
On mine the metal link that is on the ARB had rusted away.

[Xantianut]

Ay up!

Thanks for the advice, all. The ramp is booked. Piccies to come.

[bxzx16v]

It looks like a 1970's jacked up starskey & hutch look a like , good luck with the work on your xantia , it's a nice colour that . Would love to see some pics of the 306 cabriolet .

Mark

[Xantianut]

Ay up!

The best laid plans, eh?

There was I, driving into the car park this AM, little knowing that all hell was about to break loose. Our office wench rang in sick, so guess who had to baby sit the office? And all this in the middle of moving the damned thing?

Then a meeting with the Boss, then the weekly Staff Meeting.

I need:

a)

b)

c)

Not necessarily in that order!

Hopefully, I will blag the ramp first thing tomorrer and if anyone wants me, I'll be busy. Camera is in laptop bag (how did I end up carrying one of these things, anyway?!?). Where's me jeweller's 4lb hammer? And the watchmaker's crowbar?

Ooooooooooh, me aching back!!

[CitroJim]

Oh gawd Sounds like a typical Monday morning at work to me.

Better joy tomorrow, eh?

Where's me jeweller's 4lb hammer? And the watchmaker's crowbar?

I like!

[Junkman]

What.
On earth.
Are NACRO kids????