Joke I found funny...

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andy5
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by andy5 »

Peter.N. wrote:
06 Apr 2020, 15:17
Reminds me of when we first came down here. I needed a new hot water cylinder, as we were now metric I ordered it in mm, certainly said the man, brought it down and put it on the counter, on the side was written 36 x 15.

Peter
Years ago, between jobs, I was working for an agency.

I worked with some suspended ceiling fixers for a while, just labouring sort of stuff.

Sometimes the dimensions they gave me for cutting the ceiling tiles at the edges and corners of the room were mixed metric and imperial, and/or ambiguous between millimetres and centimetres. Usually I looked at where they were and if it seemed confusing I asked, but they got one or two surprises.
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mickthemaverick
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

My daughter asked for a tarantula for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web!
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Paul-R
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Paul-R »

Oh you do spin a good yarn.
doctle
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by doctle »

Paul-R wrote:
08 Apr 2020, 18:07
Oh you do spin a good yarn.
Oh clever
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white exec
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by white exec »

I think I'm losing the thread... :miserable:
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mickthemaverick
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

A silky smooth comment from Chris! :oops:
doctle
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by doctle »

Bit of wool you'd all be knit wits
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mickthemaverick
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

I was standing in the queue at the ATM the other day when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance...So I pushed her over!
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CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by CitroJim »

myglaren wrote:
07 May 2019, 12:46
Image
:rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2:
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Paul-R
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Paul-R »

You're all doomed. My daughter has given me a copy of this book.
Crap Dad Jokes.jpg
Hell Razor5543
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

I see your "Crap Dad Jokes" and raise you one "A Dyslexic Walks into a Bra".

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00628GPEO/ ... TF8&btkr=1
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CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by CitroJim »

Paul-R wrote:
10 Apr 2020, 09:09
You're all doomed. My daughter has given me a copy of this book.

Image
:rofl2:

I could have written that one - according to my kids :roll:
Hell Razor5543 wrote:
10 Apr 2020, 09:12
I see your "Crap Dad Jokes" and raise you one "A Dyslexic Walks into a Bra"
Ouch, bet he felt a bit of a tit....

:lol:
Hell Razor5543
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

A stretch of black tarmac walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me a pint, make it quick, because I am tough and afraid of nobody". Then a stretch of red tarmac walks into the bar. The black tarmac runs into the toilets and hides for 10 minutes. When he comes back out he asks the barman "Has he gone yet?". The barman laughs and says "He has gone. I thought you were big and tough and frightened of nobody, so what is the big deal with the red tarmac?".

The black tarmac replies "Nobody ever messes with HIM. He is a cycle path!".
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Paul-R
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Paul-R »

Page 91:

What's a golfer's favourite deodorant?
Links!

Why was the plastic bag put into quarantine for six months?
Because they thought he was a carrier!
(Very appropriate at the moment)
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mickthemaverick
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

My god....we are doomed! :-D :-D