AA come out, and confirm that it won't start. Drag me home.
Local garage were finally able to look at it yesterday. ECU was complaining of crank and cam sensors not being in sync
Seems it'd jumped some teeth on its timing belt. They reset the timing, but the old girl was only firing on 1 cyl.
Glad I didn't put the 2 new tyres on that it needs, and I need to syphon the nearly full tank.
It's going to be scrapped sometime after this weekend, but on the offchance that anyone is interested in a '99 MK2 27.5bhp HDi Xantia Estate in various shades of white then drop me a line.
It's got the usual worn driver's seat, no parcel shelf. It'd done very nearly (like ~200 miles off) 180k miles.