Comedy moment on holiday

[mbunting]

So, there we were sat on the bonnet of the car at Senen Cove in Cornwall, admiring the scenery and the quietness of the area.

CRUNCH.

Hmm, what was that, nobody around, no cars just come in, but look at that Xantia, it's just hit the sea wall..

The usual Xantia issue of hot brakes and the handbrake ( the car park is at the bottom of a steep hill ).

I collared the owners on thier return, tried to explain it - blank faces.

They then got in, started up, and of course it scraped the wall as the front rose, and off they went.

Never mind

[CitroJim]

I guess they were mighty embarrassed and just wanted to be off as soon as they could.

[2.1td]

And the moral of this story is... ALWAYS leave your car in gear and if possible turn the front wheels into the kerb (assuming that there is one!)

[KP]

And when you start it up, kick it over in a gear that would push the car from said object, then pull handbrake up properly and then kick the engine over to inspect the damage.... Should give just enough time before the pump gives enough pressure for it to lift if it has sunk, which none of our xantias have done for such a shosrt time which maybe means the accumulator was shot or dying as well...

[alan s]

I had a "moment" a few years back.
I had a CX c-matic. For anyone who doesn't know what a c-matic is, it's a 2 pedal job, brake and accelerator but effectively a manual gearbox driven via a torque converter and changed using an electromagnetic powered valve that disconnects the fluid from the TC so as to be able to change gears.
I am out shopping and park in an uphill position in a shopping centre car park. I have put the car in "park" and handbrake on.
CX handbrakes come in 2 classes; absolutely brilliant or absolutely useless; mine was the second. The handbrake, unlike later models, consisted of 2 pads about 35mm diameter which were held on the front disc by a cam on an eccentric. Forget to release it once and drive say about 2 metres before realising it was on and there goes the adjustment and it was a bugger to do, so you left it until there was a good reason to take the wheel off for another job before readjusting it. Anyway, having been driving my BX16V also I momentarily forgot what I was in, so I waltz out of the shop, wife gets in, I get in, not thinking, I knock it out of gear (park) to start just out of habit as I do in the 16V and we're off!! backards down the car park. A quick reflex grab at the handbrake shows it's on at the fullest, naturally won't go back into park, the key is in an awkward place so can't hit it to start the engine (which would have given me both brakes and steering) and as it had Diravi power steering (not power assisted steering as modern Cits have) it was a 2 hand job to get even the smallest amount of turn.
Somehow I managed to miss 100 parked cars and as many pedestrians and eventually it swung around almost 180 degrees and as it went backwards up the car park rise and slowed, I hit the key and it fired and I caught it on the brake.
Naturally I did 2 jobs as soon as I got home; fixed the handbrake and changed the accumulator. What a bloody thrill!!

Alan S

[Father Ted]

Naturally I did 2 jobs as soon as I got home; fixed the handbrake and changed the accumulator. What a bloody thrill!!

Alan S

I think If I had been driving it would have been 3 jobs, the first being a quick change of underwear....

[andmcit]

Honest truth, this scenario very nearly killed a Citroen pal of mine with
the same Cx issue of totally duff handbrake and dodgy starter motor
wiring combined with a slight slope.

The car was a Cx DTR2 Safari and one of the symptoms of this model
due to the high compression engine are poor starter motors and degraded
wiring to the solenoid over time if they're not kept in order. My pal came
back from a nice evening out and couldn't get the car started, whereupon
he decided on the usual 'get the Cx going again' dodge of circumventing
the starter circuit and the ignition switch by giving the solenoid the full
bore power from the battery using a convenient male/female connection
provided by Mr Citroen literally above the battery.

The problem as he found out was the car was left in 1st gear...

The thing literally jumped into life and half shocked and not as sharp as
he should have been within eeconds my pal got himself pushed by the car
against an armco barrier in the car park with the car trying to crush him.

Snapped his pelvis in 2 places and put him in hospital for ages...

Was touch and go for a while too.

He kept the car mind as he loved it so much! Fixed the handbrake and
fitted a relay to do the job we was doing that night bridging the wires to
the solenoid!!

Moral of the story? By all means run a Cx as they're tough cookies, but
sort the handbrake out!

Andrew

[alan s]

Yep, that one was a trap.
Same car that gave me the brown trouser moment in the car park also nearly got me in the backyard.
The wires to the relay to the starter were a bit dodgy and sometimes it wouldn't kick, so (in a hurray) I seperate the bullet connector and whack it on the + terminal of the battery. As it starts, (luckily I was standing at the side as I always tend to do for obvious safety reasons) the car moves off, again with the handbrake on... and one of our mangey old dogs wanders across in front of the car, a low slung old Corgi, so I run to the front, grab the mutt by the collar and in one swoop pitch her across the yard (the look on the dog's face was priceless) dived back across the front and hung through the window and got the key off and stopped it, just as the car was within a metre of the house.
I think all that saved the day was that the car was in first and are slow off the mark, the grass was long and matted and the ground was soft after some rain. My missus reckons it's the fastsest she's seen me move for years.


Alan S