Life on the edge - the Diary of a C5

[Xantianut]

Hello, Friends!



I have a NEW MOT! Uncle Dave, the MOT man had to readjust my headlamp beams but that was all. The Hydraulic leak? A nice big Jubilee clip put the rubber leak off thingy tight against the back of the strut and, as Papa says, stopped the beggar cold. At least that's what I think he said. Sounded like that anyway.

So to celebrate, Papa is taking me to the Severn Valley Railway to watch a class 40 locomotive. I'm looking forward to this as much as Papa. Now, is 2,000hp too much even for a big girl like me?

He's dreaming.

Big hairy fool that he is!

Love

Otterchops

[Xantianut]

Hello, friends!

I am an unwell girl.

Today my nearside front brake seized with smoke and all sorts coming from under the wheelarch so I have has to come home on a wrecker! Still, papa is warming his hammer up.....

Just kidding, he's going to remove my wheel and have a poke around. He's good at that.....

[myglaren]

Handbrake mechanism, common problem.
New caliper is the easiest and most reliable fix for it.

[Xantianut]

Papa speaking here.

Once the brake had cooled down, the whole thing worked properly plus the brake stuck on some time after I had last used the handbrake. I'll know more when I get in there tomorrow.....

[RichardW]

Cables seizing into the tubes is not exactly an unknown phenomenon on MK1 and 2 C5s.....!!

[Xantianut]

Hello, Friends!

Well, the Hairy Great Fool is hitting himself with his big hammer, hoping to knock some sense in.

When he fitted my brakes, he used the foot brake to bring pads and discs together on the right hand side. On the left, he used the handbrake! So the lever was not moving enough. No wonder it seized!

He has lubricated and worked everything and a test drive has revealed no worries. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

He may be an Old Fool but he is my Old Fool. He is hopeful about the repair but expecting to have to buy a new calliper anyway......

Love,

Otterchops

[Hell Razor5543]

Otterchops, I hope it is a large foam sponge hammer he is hitting himself with. Other than his pride we do not want him to damage himself!

[Xantianut]

Hello, Uncas James.

I think it was his 1lb recoilless rubber mallet he was hitting himself with!

He has promised me he will check my brakes tomorrow after driving a little way. Sadly it meant we missed the class 40 diesel running on the Severn Valley Railway today.

You might be able to help here. How can I persuade the Old Fool to get me an English Electric 16SVT for Christmas?

[Hell Razor5543]

Erm, where would you put it? It is probably too large to keep at home, and how would you get it there anyway?

[Xantianut]

I want one under my bonnet! 2,000hp, what's not to like?????

[Hell Razor5543]

It might adversely affect your handling, acceleration and braking, it could affect the forward visibility for the perspective of the driver, it probably would cause you to fail any emissions tests, and the fuel economy might be unusual. I also doubt whether (brilliant though it is) the suspension would be up to the job. Other than those potential issues it would be perfect.

[Xantianut]

Hello, Friends!!

Well, Papa's Test Run was interesting. We went down towards Wombourne with both front windows open and my air con turned off. We were nearly there when the Big Hairy Old Fool smelled what he thought was an overheated brake. I was NOT amused when, after checking my hubs, he announced that the smell was manure on the fields! Oh, the shame!!!

Anyway, he passed me Fit and we went to Moseley today. My left front brake is still dragging a tiny bit so he is threatening his big hammer! And other tools.......

Wish us luck!

Love

Otterchops.

[Xantianut]

Hello, Friends!

Well, Papa's oiling and working of my brake calipers seems to have worked for the moment anyway so the Old Fool will save his pocket money up for some nice, shiny new calipers for me over the winter. Then he says he will rebuild the old ones himself so I always have spares. Never knew he had it in him! Hidden talents, eh? I need to watch him!

Unca James visited last week. It's always nice to have a chat with Bluebird, and let the humans (I think Papa is human, he's not sure!) get on with it. At least they both love their Citroens! Unca James brought me a new interior mirror that dips on its own. At least I think that's what it does! Papa did notice tonight that, as a car tucked in behind us, the mirror darkened! What a super piece of kit and it also puts me in control! Oooooh, the Power!!!!

What a shame I am not an Automatic - I'd be driving myself!!!!

Love

Otterchops,

[Xantianut]

Hello, Friends!

Well, the Old Fool did it again.

Maman sometimes does talks and Tuesday Night was a Coffee Mill talk. This meant loading me up with a lot of cast iron mills, large screen, laptop, projector and all the rest! This turns me from a big, luxurious limo into the most stylish van you ever saw!!!

We arrived at the Church in Willenhall, my People set up and Maman did the talk while Papa changed the picture on the screen. When it was time to go, they packed everything into me and came home. Next morning, the Hairy Great Twit realised he had left his walking stick so I had to take him to fetch it. I had a word with Hex the SatNav who deposited him half a mile from where he wanted to be but then his Phone directed him there. Traitor!

On the way back, he had decided to have some chips from Major's Chippy in Bilston, his favourite. No way!!! So I got Hex to avoid Bilston! Maman has given me a pat and told me i am a Good Girl because Papa is On A Diet.

I just thought it was fun to see his face when he realised we were too far away for him to get his chips!!!!!

Papa is pretending too be a Roman Catholic priest this weekend at Moseley Old Hall during their re-enactment of King Charles II hiding there in 1651 while on the run following his defeat at the Battle of Worcester. Should be interesting. He is a Pagan!!!

Love

Otterchops.

[Hell Razor5543]

Otterchops, you certainly DON'T want to be an automatic, as some humans assume their vehicles are completely in control, and then do stupid things. There was an incident I can recall where (in the USA) a camper van was found off the road, and on its' side. There was nobody in the driving seat, but cruise control had been engaged. The only person in the vehicle had died, but was in the back of the vehicle. It appears they had assumed the vehicle would navigate autonomously, and had left the driving position to make themselves something to eat.

Still, evolution is nice, isn't it?