Joke I found funny...

[Paul-R]

Haha, that was the next one I was going to post!

[MattBLancs]

Haha, that was the next one I was going to post!

Great minds, eh Paul!

Seems there's legend/keys too (not directly associated with the previous circuit diagram

Again from "XKCD" whatever that is

[CitroJim]

I love that chart of symbols Matt

Especially the sheep

[MattBLancs]

I love that chart of symbols Matt

Especially the sheep

I thought that'd be up your and other "electrically capable" folks!

Have you spotted the bike I picked out for you Jim?
viewtopic.php?p=840325#p840325

[myglaren]

[myglaren]

Herself got up and left early to go down State with the other members of her coven on some jaunt and asked me to let her chickens out of the coop after I had finished milking the cows. She reckoned a couple of days ago that one of the chicken was probably on the way out so I sent an email to her phone telling her it had croaked.

She then asked me if I had buried it, I replied that no I hadn't and as the dead chicken was still warm when I found it, I skinned it and I'm making chicken soup with it and the dopey mare believed me.

She went mental when I told her I was making soup. I replied it was no big deal and that we could bury the chicken bones after the soup got made. I reckon I'm in for some earache when she gets home for this little wind up.

[Gibbo2286]

Two men are walking their dogs—a Doberman and a Chihuahua—on a hot day. They pass a pub and decide it is time for a drink.
As they are about to enter the pub, they notice a sign that reads 'No dogs allowed'. The man with the Chihuahua says: 'That's a real shame; I'm dying for a drink'.
'No probs,' says the other man. 'Just do as I do'.
So saying, he puts on a pair of dark glasses and walks into the pub with his Doberman. The barman says: 'I'm sorry sir, but dogs aren't allowed in here'.

'It's okay,' says the man. 'I'm blind you see, and this is my seeing-eye dog.'
'But I thought seeing-eye dogs were always Labradors,' says the somewhat-suspicious barman.
'That used to be the case, but it has recently been found that the Doberman makes an even better seeing-eye dog than the Labrador'.
Satisfied at last, the barman allows the man to come in with his Doberman.
Encouraged by what he has heard, the other man puts on his dark glasses and walks into the pub with his Chihuahua.
Once again, the barman intervenes, saying: 'I'm sorry sir, but dogs aren't permitted in here.'
He replies: 'But you don't understand—I'm blind, and this is my seeing-eye dog.'
The barman, incredulous, exclaims: 'That Chihuahua is a seeing-eye dog?'

The man replies: 'A Chihuahua! They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?'

[Stickyfinger]

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow”.

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.

“Well, doc, it’s like this – first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing”.

The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbour?”

Spoiler: show

The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open”

[Paul-R]

I heard a version of that joke being retold on TV by a comedian who said that he heard it from Bob Monkhouse.

[Stickyfinger]

Most jokes (invent %) are only "new" to those who have not heard them or a version of them before

[myglaren]

[Rp0thejester]

[MattBLancs]

It's a fair carp?

The long (damp) arm of the law?

Officers gave chase but unfortunately the suspect was able to get away in a stolen white Lotus Esprit

[MattBLancs]

Not so much a joke, more a case of I do enjoy an auto translation:

Well, grazers! What about that bypass lung, eh?!

[Rp0thejester]

Is that 'Fascinating Aida' ???