Joke I found funny...
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Gibbo2286
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Max Miller got banned from the BBC for this:
Theatre nudism, "It's said that there will soon be five hundred nude ladies on stage in London, that will be a thousand pities."
Theatre nudism, "It's said that there will soon be five hundred nude ladies on stage in London, that will be a thousand pities."
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. (Albert Einstein)
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mickthemaverick
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Another from the music hall days that has just come to mind:
"My wife has gone to the West Indies!"
"Jamaica?"
"No she went of her own accord!""
"My wife has gone to the West Indies!"
"Jamaica?"
"No she went of her own accord!""
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
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Paul-R
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Re: Joke I found funny...
This is the joke that I heard he got banned for...
I was walking up this narrow mountain pass - so narrow that nobody else could pass you, when I saw a woman walking towards me. Well, I didn't know whether to block her passage or toss myself off.
As I get older I think a lot about the hereafter - I go into a room and then wonder what I'm here after.
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" ~ Homer J Simpson
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" ~ Homer J Simpson
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mickthemaverick
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Re: Joke I found funny...
The mention of nuns reminded me of the two gay monks Patrick Fitzmichael and Michael Fitzpatrick! 
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
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Stickyfinger
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Re: Joke I found funny...
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there’s a dog.
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there’s a dog.
Alasdair
Activa, the Moose Dodger
Activa, the Moose Dodger
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CitroJim
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CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Clocks have three hands...
The first is called the hour hand;
The second is called the minute hand;
And the third is called the second hand...
The first is called the hour hand;
The second is called the minute hand;
And the third is called the second hand...
Jim
A bit of a Citroen AX fan...
A bit of a Citroen AX fan...
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Stickyfinger
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CitroJim
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Stickyfinger
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Professor at Guys medical school was giving a lecture on ‘Involuntary Muscular Contractions’ to his first year medical students. Realising this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your a-hole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?
‘Probably working on an old Citroen with his mates.’
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your a-hole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?
‘Probably working on an old Citroen with his mates.’
Alasdair
Activa, the Moose Dodger
Activa, the Moose Dodger
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Stickyfinger
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myglaren
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Dave Alan walt.CitroJim wrote: 11 Jan 2023, 17:49 Clocks have three hands...
The first is called the hour hand;
The second is called the minute hand;
And the third is called the second hand...
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CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Certainly was... Watched a video about teaching kids to tell the time... Couldn't stop laughing!
Such a talented performer... Always loved his brand of comedy
Jim
A bit of a Citroen AX fan...
A bit of a Citroen AX fan...
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myglaren
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Steve Walsh
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Re: Joke I found funny...
Thanx to all the admins & knowledgeable people that make this the best forum on the interweb. BUT COME BACK MARC , We miss you!
