Life on the edge - the Diary of a C5

[Xantianut]

Thanks!! I am so relieved. Now to get the tight old git to,part with the money.....

[Xantianut]

Hello, Friends!!!

A large, square parcel arrived this morning with the postman complaining about his poor old back. Daddy opened it and, inside, there was a nice, new brake calliper for me! Daddy fitted it with minimal swearing accompanied by Lily wanting her Daddy. She is besotted with him!! Tommy greeted him when he's finished too. Those hounds love their people! Maybe I can take them out somewhere this week now that I am a runner once again? We'll see!

Papa has promised me some nice Bigg Redd callipers in the summer but only once he's found some caliper brackets so that they can rebuild those as well. Exciting times!!!

Love

Otterchops.

[CitroJim]

New calipers eh? He clearly loves you Otterchops

[Xantianut]

Hello, Friends!

Daddy has treated me again! We had not noticed how badly my wipers had deteriorated and were giving him a poor view of the road.. the rubber had started to perish quite badly and the plastic clips were brittle. He changed them quickly enough, even if Lily was barking for him to come back in! A quick squirt with my powerful windscreen washers and this proved all was well.

Yes, he has one of those wiper resurfacers but the top of the rubber had perished.

Daddy has promised me a new ball joint, CV boot and rear suspension rubbers. He's going to be busy!! Looks like I'll be up on stands again.....

Love

Otterchops.

[CitroJim]

Great to hear from you Otterchops

Daddy has promised me a new ball joint, CV boot and rear suspension rubbers. He's going to be busy!! Looks like I'll be up on stands again.....

He really knows how to treat you at this special time of the year

Happy Christmas to both you and your daddy!

[Xantianut]

Hello, Friends!

Well, he tried. His trolley jack,would,not lift my wheel hub high enough for him to get his impact gun on my ball joint so,we are waiting for Hermes to deliver a special high lift bottle jack.

Humph!!!

And I,mean it to sting!

[Xantianut]

Hello, Friends!!!

More lumpy parcels have arrived and Papa has a nice, new (to him anyway) red HP laptop. I think it's a bit of a cheek him allowing the Hounds to use it before me but we got there in the end.

Papa has been busy. He had a good rummage in my big boot and found a big bottle jack. Aha! he said. Just what I need. He jacked my nearside wheelhub off the ramp and took off my stylish alloy wheel. He lifted it further, seated his new ball joint splitter with a resounding blow from his BIG hammer and put his impact gun on the bolt. It is the type that is shaped like a big bracket and simply uses a bolt to crack the joint. He bought this after I broke his lever type. Oops! Anyway, my ball joint was not badly stuck and came off fairly quickly. He had to remove the remains of the ball joint gaiter with his knife then put the special socket on and tightened up his modified nut - the original one with the Nyloc bit ground off. Did I tell you he is a tightwad????

Anyway next came the bit he was dreading. He has soaked the threads from above with penetrating oil but the removal surprised him. Six "bangs" from the impact gun (I counted them) and the ball joint whizzed off. After telling the old joint Who De Man? he popped the new one on and reassembled. it is too cold for the old fella to do my driveshaft bellows and rear suspension rubbers though but I am part of the way to my MOT.

Must go - Papa is coming.

Love to all

Otterchops.

xxxxx

PS - can someone explain to him that not all the daft bits of my design are French? OK. most of them are, but not all!!!

[CitroJim]

Excellent

PS - can someone explain to him that not all the daft bits of my design are French? OK. most of them are, but not all!!!

The French have been busy exporting it to other nations - clearly with some success

[Xantianut]

Hwllo, Friends!!!!

Papa has been busy again!!

This time he replaced the boot n my RH CV joint. Very little swearing and NO HAMMR!!!!!!

He's half way there. Just got the rear suspension rubbers to change now. I am up on stands at the back and look like i m about to pounce on someone over the gate. Cheek!!! Anyone old think I am a Jaguar. We Citroens ccck. Wheel and pee oil on peoplewe do no like......

Love

Otterchops!!

[CitroJim]

Magic

[Xantianut]

Hello, Friends.

When Papa said he'd roll out the big guns I,always thought he was talking about his BIG hammer.

He has even better tools than that!

The pin on my rear suspension leg had rusted in solid so,he whacked it a few times then swore. He came back with a blowtorch which heated the pin till it was RED HOT!!! Then came the hammer. The pin is a) mullered and b) out which means that tomorrow he can replace my suspension rubbers.

The brakes? Well that escalated! Another Big Gun is his big impact driver. This is mains powered and generates 450nM of torque which is a lot. This did not move my calliper bolts one mm!! He grumbled about excessive threadlock (at least that what I think he was talking about) and has ordered new calipers. I suspect this means he is about to vent his wrath on the old ones with an angle grinder and big hammer.

Something tells me this will hurt but will be worth it.

At least he still talks nicely to me and pats my elevated rump when he comes in the drive.

Talk,soon.

Love

Otterchops.

[CitroJim]

Gosh He's really putting you through it Otter but you know what they say... No pain, no gain

Good luck on it all going smoothly

[Xantianut]

Hello, friends!

Well that escalated again!

Papa has tried once again to get my calipers off and split his 16mm impact socket. This somewhat stuffs his plan and new through bolts have been ordered. He is planning to grind the heads off, lever the remains of my calipers off then cut the bolt down and get his bolt extractor on the stub.

Good news: the pin securing my suspension ram to the anti roll bar has finally relinquished its hold. Bad news? The ram is rusted solid into the ARB cup. But he has seen the (very oily) bolts for my suspension cylinder so he'll take that out and change the &@$€ rubber out. Finally!!!!

[CitroJim]

Papa has tried once again to get my calipers off and split his 16mm impact socket.

Gosh! That takes some doing What have you been doing Otter? You know it's very naughty to make your caliper bolts so hard to remove don't you

You should be ashamed of yourself

[Hell Razor5543]

Erm, somebody in the past used a tube of thread-lock per calliper bolt!