Life on the edge - the Diary of a C5

Tell us your ongoing tales and experiences with your French car here. Post pictures of your car here as well.
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Stickyfinger
(Donor 2016)
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Stickyfinger »

Stickyfinger wrote:
Whatever next? I shall refuse to start, that'll show him!
Maybe a change of name to Jeremy ?....he won't go either ! :)
Alasdair
Activa, the Moose Dodger
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends!

What a day!

Today was Wombourne Carnival so I Was converted into a van to take stuff to it. No problem, my air conditioning is,working properly now so I am a very luxurious van indeed! All the stuff was taken from my capacious boot then Papa went to chat with the owners of some nice old cars. Well, two of them were. A Hillman Minx and a Superminx. They are relatives so that's OK. Sort of. BUT a Ford Zodiac V6? A,Chevy truck? An Austin Healy? And as for that Gordon-Keeble? What was he thinking about? What's so special about a Corvette engine anyway? Twice as many cylinders as I need and where is the turbo? I mean, where is it? No, no turbo!

I despair sometimes but Papa did leave me where I Could watch some cricket and did sit in me a couple of times when he got too creaky to walk any further. And he did pat me and put my radio on so all is not lost.

At least when he does not know what to do, he knows where to ask advice. He'll do! I'll keep this one......

Love

Otterchops,
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
Hell Razor5543
Donor 2023
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Hell Razor5543 »

Has Papa had a chance to use your new Cruise Control yet, Otterchops? I tend to use it on Bluebird when I am travelling through roadworks on the motorways, as (assuming I have set the speed correctly) I should not get done for speeding. Let Papa know that the CC may only work in 4th and 5th gears, and when you are travelling at speed (may be 40MPH, might be 50MPH).

Oh, by the way, I think I know why there was that evaporator switch error when we had a look at your Air Con with my Lexia. When it was re-gassed the relevant ECU would have seen a change in pressure during the re-gassing, and flagged it up as a possible fault. It should not have come back since it was cleared, but it might (if it worries you or him) be worth checking again some time in the future.
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+

Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Hello friends.

Or, as Papa would put it, Ay up! Yes, I am in Yorkshire once again. It's always a nice cruise up the M1, even if Papa does keep my speed down to 70mph. He knows I can go much, much faster than that, although he does say that puts his licence in danger. And if he loses that, he will have to put me up for adoption! So fair enough, I will dawdle at 70. Except in the roadworks where I have to crawl at 50mph. 50mph! I ask you......

Anyway, my new cruise control is not talking to my BSI. I really wonder what an earth that BSI is up to, it would make Papa tear his hair out, if he had any! It really is a law unto itself. This means Papa will have to get his Lexia out and plod through. And his Lexia has a very strange accent! I can barely understand it. However, needs must.

Papa tells me I shall soon be a luxurious van once again so we'll see what is about to be put in my capacious boot.

Have fun, I am putting my feet up after a long, long drive.

Love

Otterchops!
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
Hell Razor5543
Donor 2023
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Joined: 01 Apr 2012, 09:47
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Hell Razor5543 »

Drat. I wonder what has happened. We got the stalk talking to the drivers' module, and then configured it with the Injection menu. I wonder if we missed something. It might be worth going through the testing and setup routine again, just in case.
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+

Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends!

Oh, the shame! Today I was used as a dust cart! Papa took a trailer load of rubbish to the tip. But t least I got to play it a trailer! Nice to put my tow bar to good use, I just HATE going to the dump! All that rotting rubbish, a girl's seats could develop an odour!

Now got my feet up in the back garden ready to go home. Papa is busy packing while the builders make lots of noise with their big hammers and drills. Worryingly, Papa is wondering about an even bigger hammer.

Wallet? KILL!!!!!!!!!
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
Hell Razor5543
Donor 2023
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Joined: 01 Apr 2012, 09:47
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Hell Razor5543 »

Otterchops, if Wallet kills Papa who is going to look after you the way he does? Do you REALLY want to take the chance another BODGER gets custody of you?
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+

Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
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CitroJim
A very naughty boy
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by CitroJim »

Hell Razor5543 wrote:Otterchops, if Wallet kills Papa who is going to look after you the way he does? Do you REALLY want to take the chance another BODGER gets custody of you?
Wise words James :0

You must understand big hammers upset Otterchops' delicate constitution and worries her...

Wallet kill is the only form of defence she knows, poor girl... I blame a poor upbringing in her French nursery...
Jim

Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

I am home now and the kitchen cupboards have been removed from my capacious boot.

And you're right, Friends. I cannot take the chance. For some reason Papa locked his Wallet up for the trip so it never had a chance.

Got my feet up now in the drive and looking forward to a good nights' sleep.
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
Hell Razor5543
Donor 2023
Posts: 14073
Joined: 01 Apr 2012, 09:47
x 3178

Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Hell Razor5543 »

Sleep well, Otterchops. You have deserved the rest.
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+

Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends!

Ginger the Laptop and I both had a lucky escape yesterday.

Lexia was playing Papa up something terrible, as usual, and would NOT scan me. It kept shouting strange things in Chinese, I think. Papa tried several time but to no avail. Then he heard some electrical interference on my radio that he had tuned to Long Wave to hear the cricket. Touching the computer's power lead revealed the worst. It was hot and Papa said it felt like a tube full of rice crispies. Whatever they are. When touched it started fizzing.

Anyway, Papa said numerous naughty words and packed the whole lot away, muttering dire implications. Dunno why muttering two words all the time helps but then that is my Papa!!!

I think he has a plan of action so we'll see if it works. Otherwise I fear for Ginger's safety......

Love

Otterchops
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
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CitroJim
A very naughty boy
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by CitroJim »

That's not sounding good... Sounds like you are burning out his laptop Otterchops!!!
Jim

Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Hell Razor5543
Donor 2023
Posts: 14073
Joined: 01 Apr 2012, 09:47
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Hell Razor5543 »

Well, I shall have to arrange a trip up North (well, slightly North) to see family, and, if needed, to bring my Lexia with me.
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+

Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends.

Papa has a Plan!

This would already have happened but Ginger's power lead was seriously faulty, felling,like a sock,full of rice crispies and becoming rather warm while producing a horrid sizzle type sound.

Anyway, Papa's plan is to wipe clean then XP hard drive then reinstall envy thing onto it. Then see what happens. I foresee much swearing and hurling of tools. Papa is no computer whizz!

But then he is a mechanical genius and Mighty Spanner God so he can't be good at everything can he?
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
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CitroJim
A very naughty boy
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Joined: 30 Apr 2005, 23:33
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by CitroJim »

A clean reinstall is always a good idea but sort out that fizzing power supply first though!
Jim

Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...