Life on the edge - the Diary of a C5

Tell us your ongoing tales and experiences with your French car here. Post pictures of your car here as well.

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Hell Razor5543
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

A HAMMER! He is becoming a bodger! Everybody knows you should take the mirror cover off with a crowbar. :twisted:

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

James!

Please do not,put ideas into Papa's head!!!! I have to say he knew exactly where to tap the clips to remove the cover without breaking any. And he even remembered the little hidden one up by the hinge! He says he's never worked on a C5 before but I am wondering now. After a brief beard scratch (no hair on his,head, you see) and a couple of attempts to,prise them out he,scratched his chins again, put the screwdriver in at a different angle, tapped and off it popped with all clips intact! He has filled a scratch in the housing then primed it,

He has promised to buy me some,proper grey paint. I've seen the work he does on his models so this should,look,good!

No, my Papa is,no,Bodger. He is a craftsman. And a good mechanic.

Don't tell him I said that please! He will be impossible to live with if you do!!!!

Love

Otterchops

Hell Razor5543
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

I know he is a proper Citroen mechanic (even if he does not actually work for Citroen). It was just that the hammer was a useful target.

I am an EPoS engineer. One of my usual jokes when I am dealing with clients I know is that one of the reasons it takes so long in training any engineers is the hammer selection training. The hammer has to be big enough to knock sense into the sodding thing, without knocking any stuffing back out. When I am asked what is the right hammer for what I am currently working on I usually make up an Imperial weight (like 3lb 4ozs). Normally gets a few laughs.

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

Heheheheh!

That is what Grandpapa taught Papa. And if,it doesn't work, fetch a bigger hammer.

I much prefer Papa's spanners and,sockets. They fit my bolts so,well......

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

Hello, Friends!

Papa is slobbering over this month's Practical Classics magazine. It has a Citroen XM in it this month as the Buyers' Guide. Nice to see proper cars in the magazine.

Thankfully, Papa is not thinking of buying one!

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CitroJim
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by CitroJim »

That's what he tells you ;)

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

Hello, Friends!

That should teach him to slobber over Other Cars.

I have busted my power steering pump so Papa has had to order a replacement,

Hehehehehehehe!

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daviemck2006
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by daviemck2006 »

Your a naughty boy Otterchops. I like it though. You gotta keep that daddy under control hee hee

Sent from my SM-G361F using Tapatalk

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Stickyfinger
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Stickyfinger »

Otterchops is incontinent.....hahahaha

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

Hello, Mr Finger!

Papa spent a few minutes under my bonnet, swearing metronomically. He 1st of all felt the pulleys. My steering pump pulley felt warm, the others less so. Then he put a screwdriver behind the wheel and levered to find a mm or so of free play. Then he swore some more.

He started my powerful engine to listen and reckoned it was the steering pump because the pulley wobbled and was firing metal filings all over the place. Then he closed my bonnet, swore some more then must have ordered the part because I can still hear screams!

Poor Papa, all he does is try. Thankfully he has some good spanners and sockets so, once the part arrives, he will be able to get busy and make me better again. This means he has to go to Moseley on the bus tomorrow and it is a long walk to get to the Hall from the nearest bus stop.

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

PHOOEY!!!!!

No lumpy parcel today so Papa cannot fix me.

However, I understand he has ordered some LDS, an aux belt, a temperature sensor and, for some reason, a chain oil filter wrench. I can still hear the screams!

Just puzzled by the chain wrench. He has a very effective nylon strap oil filter tool,that he has used twice on me now. Anyone any ideas?

Otterchops.

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CitroJim
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by CitroJim »

Xantianut wrote: Just puzzled by the chain wrench.
If I were you I'd behave myself...

Just saying....

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

Hello Friends!

It all started so well......

Papa muscled me into the drive, not easy for him because I could not help with the steering AT ALL. He'd just done that when a box arrived, with a new drive belt in it. Papa then removed most of my plastic bits ready to get the job done but.......

No pump!

A 48 hour delivery that so far has taken 72. And looks like it will be 96. The belt was ordered yesterday.....

Anyway, in frustration, Papa is painting my new alloy wheels so they look nice when my wide, grippy tyres go on them,

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends.

Well, Papa made short work of the crankshaft pulley. He walked all the way to Machine Mart which is a long, long walk for such a creaky old sod like him and bought an absolute beastie of a mains impact driver. It shivered my cranskshaft, I can tell you! However a swift Drrrrrrrrrrr and the old one was off. A swift Drrrrrrrr and it was back on.

Now the problem he faces is how to put my belt back on. I think the new belt may be a bit shorter than the old one so Papa will be adjusting the eccentric roller which will be better than his current method of brute force and swearing! At least he has discovered that my power steering pump is in good nick so he has a spare!

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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Post by Xantianut »

Hello, Friends!

Well, Mr Razor is a super chap. Or, as I now know him, Uncle James. Bluebird is a very well mannered girl, clearly brought up properly.

Anyway, not only do I now have an aux belt that works properly but I now have a cruise control! Never had one of those before, this means I can help Papa keep to a speed now.

All Papa needs to do now is figure it out. He's not,good with electronics.....

Oh, and Papa also explained why he's bought the chain oil filter wrench. He's going to lengthen the chain and use it to tighten up my fuel filter cap. Clever Papa!!!!

Love to all

Otterchops!