Life on the edge - the Diary of a C5

Tell us your ongoing tales and experiences with your French car here. Post pictures of your car here as well.
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CitroJim
A very naughty boy
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by CitroJim »

Health Food? From Greggs? That's a new definition of health food that I'm not aware of :lol: Now Gregg Wallace may be a better bet for health food perhaps...
Jim

Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Actually, Papa is more sponsored by Wombourne chip shop!!!!!

However, i did surprise him on the way home. Some moron on a bicycle, dark clothing, no lights decided to wander across the road with me bearing down on him at 50mph. The 1st he was aware of me was when he heard my tyres scrabbling for grip. Papa was looking at my accurate instruments, he did not want to watch the bike getting stuck under my front bumper but I had a surprise up me sleeve. I activated my EBA and Papa has NEVER seen a speedo reading drop as fast, except when he locks a wheel that is.

Oh, it was around 9:30 and dark BTW. I cannot repeat what Papa said.......
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
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myglaren
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by myglaren »

The EBA is quite starling (and very welcome) when it cuts in.

First time for me was around 03:00 on a dual carriageway to the airport, me doing slightly :roll: more than the NSL :)
Land Rover, no lights, pulled out from a layby in front of me. I went to lane 2 to pass him (he was barely doing 30) an he drifts into lane 2 as well.
Thinking it was all going to end very badly I hit the brakes. Car reduced speed at a very impressive rate as the EBA cut in and all the lights started flashing, at which point the LR driver became aware of my presence - ten feet behind him!
He promptly ran off the road into the verge.
Why he went into lane 2 remains a mystery, the first turn off, to the airport, was two miles away and there was no other traffic on the road. (Not even me, that he was aware of, despite headlights).
Still, EBA saved the day, for which I was very grateful.
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CitroJim
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by CitroJim »

Even I, as a dedicated cyclist, have got to say your cycling fried is a moron Otter!
Jim

Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Papa was very glad of my EBA. He was watching my speedo but the only time he's seen one go down faster is when the wheels have locked!
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
Hell Razor5543
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Hell Razor5543 »

I decided to see if my C5 has EBA, and how good it was. I was driving at 40MPH, the road was completely clear, so I applied the brakes very firmly. Once everything had settled down again I got out to check the damage. She looked OK, and there was no sign of the brick wall I had apparently run into.
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+

Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
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myglaren
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by myglaren »

Hell Razor5543 wrote:I decided to see if my C5 has EBA, and how good it was. I was driving at 40MPH, the road was completely clear, so I applied the brakes very firmly. Once everything had settled down again I got out to check the damage. She looked OK, and there was no sign of the brick wall I had apparently run into.
Try it at 120mph James - on a private test track of course!
Impressive!

I was amazed at how straight and true it pulled up, no fuss or drama.
Hell Razor5543
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Hell Razor5543 »

myglaren wrote:
Hell Razor5543 wrote:I decided to see if my C5 has EBA, and how good it was. I was driving at 40MPH, the road was completely clear, so I applied the brakes very firmly. Once everything had settled down again I got out to check the damage. She looked OK, and there was no sign of the brick wall I had apparently run into.
Try it at 120mph James - on a private test track of course!
Impressive!

I was amazed at how straight and true it pulled up, no fuss or drama.
I doubt whether she will get to 120MPH!
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+

Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends!

I can get there. I scared Papa with my power once.......
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends!

I've had a fun week. After Moseley on Monday, I then took Papa to Yorkshire. I expected him to make my spacious interior to smell of fish and chips with bits but he was very busy. Instead, he folded my back seats and filled my large boot with kitchen units! We then went to his cottage in Wales, a trip I like. Nice to gulp clean air into my air filter and lovely roads for Papa to enjoy my superb cornering ability. I've never been there from Yorkshire before and it is a gorgeous run. Papa then bodged the roof at Mynyddfa before unloading the units and heading home. Even with 5 units in my boot, I was as economical and fast as ever.

It's nice to surprise humans sometimes, isn't it?

Love

Otterchops.
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Hello, Friends!!!!!

I am a happy girl and I also have a happy Papa.

My aircon has been a bit slow off the mark this summer so Papa decided to have it re-gassed. He took me to ATS because Don the laptop showed him a special voucher that saved him nearly £20! It's from a company called Groupon which Papa says is unlikely to have anything else to interest him. Still, saves him being attacked by his Wallet! It took the nice man over an hour to sort my aircon but he replaced the gas and topped up my compressor oil. I can now freeze Papa completely if I so wish! :sun:

It's nice to be pampered.

He has also been busy with my alloys. These are from a Xsara VTR+ coupe and I Have never seen a C5 with them! They looked good on old blue so think how much better they will look on me. He has had the tyres taken off then cleaned them so he will be starting to sand off the corrosion before repainting them. Looking forward to those, should make me look even sportier. He even tells me he knows who could fit them with the wheels being centre less.

More,kitchen units to fetch then I c an have a few days in Wales while Papa fits them,

Love

Otterchops.
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends.

Well, Papa has fouled up! He is booked for two,exhibitions on the same days about a mile and a half apart. Not to,worry, I have a dash down a 60mph dual carriageway so I'm not complaining! Whooooooosh! goes my turbo!

Anyway, I am looking,for,some,advice. Papa,takes Metformin tablets and they are making,him backfire something awful! I would suggest rerouting my air intake to,a,huge funnel beneath his seat but I am afraid that it will,over speed my turbo or,possibly even make it explode! Can I.get a fart detector that will open my windows at the first sign? I wrinkled my bonnet today and I am sure that it does my high quality interior plastics no good at all.....
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)
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daviemck2006
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by daviemck2006 »

Ohhh these horrible metfartman tablets! Make me backfire also!

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harryp
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by harryp »

Speaking of aircon, the new gas costs £120 for a regas!!! I read somewhere that it runs at an exceedingly high pressure (and lower efficiency) - hence the recommendation for a 2 yearly re-gas :cry:
Regards, Harry

2000 Nov Forte HDI 110 hatch in Wicked Red; currently SORN
2000 Mar Exclusive HDI hatch in Quartz; currently SORN
2013 C4 Picasso Excl E
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Xantianut
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Re: The diary of a C5

Unread post by Xantianut »

Hello, friends!

As for the aircon, my papa found a discount voucher so the Wallet only left bruises!

Thundering here and I do not like thunder. At all. Still, Papa has left me a Car Minion to guard me.

Papa has also been exploring my external temperature sensor. I think his,diagnosis is,a technical term. He said it was buggered! Problem is, when my ergonomic dashboard shows him it is minus 17C outside, my aircon shuts down and my powerful heater starts blowing hot air! He took my mirror cover off (with a hammer of course) and is,now painting it. I,do hope he does not paint,it,black, I,am NOT an LX! I have a plastic bag over the mirror to keep the water out just now.

Harrumph!!!!!
C5 HDi 110 SX (Fifi 7 or Otterchops)

RIP
Citroen Xantia 1.8i LX (Fifi 6)
BX16TRS (x2) (Fifi 4 and 5)
BX19DTR (Fifi 2)
BX14E (x2) (Fifi 1 and 3)