Joke I found funny...

[Karata]

I think my coworkers are gay... Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."

[Karata]

As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifle - which no longer works - and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday suit.

I came around the corner with the gun raised, only to find my wife loading the dishwasher. “What are you doing?” she asked.

“I thought I heard an intruder. I came down to scare him.”

Scanning the contours of my doughy, naked body, she mumbled, “You didn’t need the gun.”

[white exec]

No comment...

Appeared on our local For Sale website:

For Sale:
Einhell (German) automatic domestic water system. Has durable plastic filter built in. Bought in error as it's for pumping water up, and I needed a pump for bringing water down. It was set up and primed by plumber . . .
Special winter price sale in shop for €150, selling for €100 no offers.

[myglaren]

My grandad knew the exact day he was going to die.














The judge told him!

[crapday69]

A guy stopped me on the street trying to sell me a coffin. 'Thats the last thing I'll need' I said to him.

[crapday69]

I was dancing with this girl to a Barry white song. The sex pistols came on and she said to me 'is that Jonny rotten' I said 'I hope not, I've only used it twice'.

[crapday69]

I told my wife that I was watch a good movie last night with that actor from Rocky called Sylvester. 'Stalone' she said, I said no it's finished.

[Karata]

On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her husband had settled down on the couch.

When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "It's Lent."

In tears, she sobbed, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Who did you lend it to, why now and for how long?!"

[Hell Razor5543]

How many weeks does each year initially start out with?

Spoiler: show

Forty six weeks, as the other six weeks are Lent!

[myglaren]

[Paul-R]

You'll have to explain that one to me?

[myglaren]

You'll have to explain that one to me?

Flat Earth theory

[myglaren]

Not a joke as such but amusing nevertheless:

Nacho Soup

[Karata]

Wife (signing divorce papers): I’m sorry I ever married you.
Me: Apology accepted.

[ONMBDM]

I really liked the "Jesus Saves" one, but only because it was so bad it became funny again