Joke I found funny...

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CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by CitroJim »

Love it. Needs just a touch of lateral thought does that one...
Hell Razor5543
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

A bit like "Two parrots, sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and says 'Can you smell fish?'"
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CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by CitroJim »

Hell Razor5543 wrote:A bit like "Two parrots, sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and says 'Can you smell fish?'"
That's a cracker James...

Just like the answer to the question of what goes around the bottom of a lake at 100mph?

A motorpike and sidecarp....
Trainman
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Trainman »

I have no wish to offend anybody but I did find these funny......

Duz tha spake Yorkshire ?

Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs.

Apparently, Yorkshire club-goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.

Police say the dangerous practice is called 'E by gum'.



A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

"Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."

"Is it a tom?"

"Nay, I've browt it wi' me."



A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller.

"Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"

"Do ya want it 18 carat?"

"Naw, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!"

A bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist, "Nah then lad, does tha sell ar*e cream?"

Chemist replies, "Aye lad, Magnum or Cornetto?"
citronut
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by citronut »

CitroJim wrote:Love it. Needs just a touch of lateral thought does that one...
no Jim
just need to think outside the tank whoooops i mean box
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CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by CitroJim »

Trainman wrote:I have no wish to offend anybody but I did find these funny......
So did I :) Reminds me of a sketch I once saw on the subject of Yorkshire Airlines. Can't recall who did it or what show it was but I'd love to see it again...
citronut wrote:
CitroJim wrote:Love it. Needs just a touch of lateral thought does that one...
no Jim
just need to think outside the tank whoooops i mean box
Good way of getting your head blown off Malcolm :lol:
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myglaren
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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addo
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Post by addo »

Those Yorkshire ones are good and funny.
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CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by CitroJim »

Steve, thanks :-D
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Xaccers
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Xaccers »

I posted that and the Northern Calypso some time ago



I miss Hale and Pace
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CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Xac wrote:I posted that and the Northern Calypso some time ago
Brilliant Xac... I doubt it'd be allowed today... Race relations and all that...
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by citronut »

myglaren wrote:
that wasnt funny Steve so much i couldnt stop :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by fatherjack2002 »

"Formed in 1977 in Coventry, England, they are an English 2 Tone ska revival band whose music combines a steady rock beat with punk attitude. Jerry Dammers and his bandmates achieved fame and notoriety with classics like 'Ghost Town' and 'Too Much Too Young".

"Well, that's true", I said to the waiter. "But it's not what I meant when I asked you to tell me about the specials".
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fatherjack2002
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by fatherjack2002 »

Why is it that in the movies when a guy puts his hands over a women's mouths and say's "Come with me if you want to live!" He is always the hero but when I try it all I get is smacked in the balls and charges pressed?
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by fatherjack2002 »

On a first date recently, she asked me if I had a nickname:

"The lads in my football team call me the man with the golden boot" I said.

"Wow, are you really good then?" she smiled.

"Nah" I said, "it's because when I run it looks like one of my feet weighs a lot more than the other."