Joke I found funny...

[CitroJim]

You do come out with some good 'un's Paul...

[fatherjack2002]

Here's another!!!!!!, please delete/moderate if you feel this is inappropreate.

I was stopped outside Boots the Chemist by a market researcher.
"What grooming products do you use ?" she asked me
I don't think she was expecting " Facebook and Puppies " as the reply .


Paul....

[Xaccers]

Here's another!!!!!!, please delete/moderate if you feel this is inappropreate.

I was stopped outside Boots the Chemist by a market researcher.
"What grooming products do you use ?" she asked me
I don't think she was expecting " Facebook and Puppies " as the reply .


Paul....

I've now sprayed coffee everywhere!

[CitroJim]

Here's another!!!!!!, please delete/moderate if you feel this is inappropreate.

I was stopped outside Boots the Chemist by a market researcher.
"What grooming products do you use ?" she asked me
I don't think she was expecting " Facebook and Puppies " as the reply .


Paul....

I've now sprayed coffee everywhere!

Ditto with my tea!!!

[Bannedbiker]

Sometimes a wife needs to trust their husband. Here is a good example of such an occasion:

A wife comes home late at night, and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Leaving the covered bodies groaning, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say "hello"?

[fatherjack2002]

Just bumped into my mate in town, he's only got one arm bless him,
"what are you up to today ? " i asked
"just off to change a light bulb "
"isn't that going to be a little difficult ? "
"not realy i've got the reciept here "

[Xaccers]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet?




Their p is silent.

[Bannedbiker]

I was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the clerk, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The clerk shrugged her shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

[Bannedbiker]

(Please remove if too offensive)
Fosters Helpline....

"G'day mate,fosters helpline...what's the problem mate?"

"Hi guys, I'm in Australia with the girlfriend and she's been stung on the minge by a hornet, and now.her fanny has completely closed up"

"Bummer mate...."

"Thanks guys, that's what i thought too...
Bye"

[CitroJim]

^^^

[Xaccers]

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon.
Einstein is bored, so he suggests; "Let's play hide and seek. I'll be it!"
Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide.
Newton however merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square on the floor.
He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts "Ready or not - here I come!"
Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him.
"A-ha! I found you Newton!"
Newton replies "No, you found one Newton per square meter - you found Pascal!"

[mooseshaver]

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon.
Einstein is bored, so he suggests; "Let's play hide and seek. I'll be it!"
Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide.
Newton however merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square on the floor.
He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts "Ready or not - here I come!"
Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him.
"A-ha! I found you Newton!"
Newton replies "No, you found one Newton per square meter - you found Pascal!"

The shame I feel as I had to look up What a Pascal is.

[Trainman]

[citronut]

A lady walks into Harrods.

She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly 'TRUMPS'.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed
her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of
a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect
of a professional in a store like Harrods.
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman
somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam - if you f*a*r*t*e*d just looking at it - you're going
to s*h*i*t yourself when I tell you the price!"

[MikeT]

hahahahahaha class