Joke I found funny...

[Hell Razor5543]

Not a joke, but I heard a tale where a car driver thought a tanker driver had cut him up. He managed to catch up with the tanker at a set of traffic lights, and he and his passenger went to 'chastise' the tanker driver (who, unfortunately for them, was quite intelligent). They hauled open the driver door, demanding he get out so they could 'discuss' their grievance. He told them that he had put the tanker into reverse, and the only things stopping it going over their car parked behind him were his feet (on the clutch and brake pedals), and did they still want him to get out?

[Peter.N.]

Peter

[Peter.N.]

If he came up behind you in his tanker he would send 'CQ' on his hooter.

Ahh love it Peter I'm still guilty of sending 'CQ' on my cars' hooters or indeed anything that will pass as an approximate generator of Morse

I really must get some practice in... I'm all rusty again and reckon I'd struggle at much over 5 wpm these days but I find a few weeks of solid practice soon has me back up there again...

I was shocked recently to find there's an Android 'phone app. that'll read Morse straight 'off air' via the 'phones microphone...

I will try it and see how it copes with some of the rough old sending I hear on 40M I suspect it might be OK with clean 'machine' Morse but will struggle with poor hand sent Morse buried in QRM...

I can just about identify repeaters Jim. That app sounds interesting.

Peter

[myglaren]

A cop who never left the station was the Olympic flame (never goes out)

The wicket keeper - puts on his gloves and stands well back

sensor light - only works when someone walks past

The bloke called Keth his name was Keith but he had an eye missing

but I think my favourite of all time has to the bloke who had suffered and industrial accident and had one leg shorter than the other. As a result his head moved from side to side when he walked and he was known as the sniper’s nightmare

[CitroJim]

^^ Especially the last one...

[Gibbo2286]

Ethel was a hundred years old and he family was holding a party for her, everyone congratulated her and looked after her, she started to lean to one side and a granddaughter quickly sat her up straight, again she leaned over and was straightened up by another friend.
The local news man came to interview her, asked how she was enjoying the party, "It would be better if this miserable lot would let me lean over and fart,"

[CitroJim]

^^

[Stickyfinger]

[CitroJim]

Yesterday I had to fix Cat Stevens' caravan...

Awning had broken...

Today I had to rescue his boat...

Mooring had broken...

[mickthemaverick]

Yesterday I had to fix Cat Stevens' caravan...

Awning had broken...

Today I had to rescue his boat...

Mooring had broken...

I didn't notice those when I fitted a new bell to his alarm....

Warning had broken...

[CitroJim]

^^ Top quality Mick

[myglaren]

I’m Welsh, and our nicknames are quite a thing. What you need to remember is that an awful lot of Welsh people are called David, which is often abbreviated to Dai. When you’ve got so many you need a way of telling them apart.

Sometimes it’s fairly straightforward - someone will be named after the place they’re from. My Dad’s friend Dai Bargoed was from a place called Bargoed. I remember walking down the street with Dad once and he pointed at a man on the other side of the road.

“It’s Dai Small Head!”
“Why do you call him Dai Small Head?”
“Because he’s got a small head”

They can be more imaginative, though. The classic is the nickname given to anyone called David Davies - Dai Twice.

A man who started work somewhere was asked by his colleagues what they should call him. He replied “I’m indifferent”, and got given the nickname Dai Indifferent.

My favourite though was a window cleaner by the name of Davies - he got nicknamed Shammy Davies. When his son joined the family business, he was christened Shammy Davies Junior.

[Steve Walsh]

Very nearly wet myself at Shammy Davis Junior

[mickthemaverick]

I was watching one of the pawn shop shows and they had a 1920's Fortune Teller machine from which they got the joke below. It made me wonder how old a joke we might be able to post on here without doing any research, just ones you can remember from bygone days!

The one from the programme:

Spoiler: show

Did you hear about the trapeeze artist who caught his wife in the act?

And my starter for 10:

Spoiler: show

Did you hear about the two Scottish gay chaps? Ben Doone and Phil McCavity?

[CitroJim]

^^^ Good Sunday smiles