Joke I found funny...

[MattBLancs]

All woes cheque yore words ah spelt Wright!

[CitroJim]

Spell checkers are bad enough but predictive text is even worse...

the inventor of the same died the other day... His funfair is next thinking-day...

[MattBLancs]

Spell checkers are bad enough but predictive text is even worse...

the inventor of the same died the other day... His funfair is next thinking-day...

My posts on here are done via the phone, about 90% of my posts appear, then I spot all the autocorrected gibberish and I have to go for an Edit to make sense of it again!

Pet hate: I did mean "were", don't change it to we're automatically thanks very much!
I.e. it were right how I wrote it!

[myglaren]

A mathematician, a chemist, and a physicist are arguing about whether it’s better to have a wife or a girlfriend.

The mathematician says it’s better to have a girlfriend, because of the excitement of an unknown quantity.

The chemist says it’s better to have a wife, because chemistry takes time.

The physicist says “No, you’re both wrong. It’s better to have a wife and a girlfriend. That way, my wife thinks I’m with my girlfriend, my girlfriend thinks I’m with my wife, so I can go to the lab and get some work done in peace.”

[Hell Razor5543]

Spell checkers are bad enough but predictive text is even worse...

the inventor of the same died the other day... His funfair is next thinking-day...

That reminds me of a text conversation between a mother and their teenage daughter. The daughter was waiting for their mother to collect them. The texts went something like this;

Mum; I'm coming in my vulva.

Daughter; EWW, MUM! GROSS!

Mum; Bloody predictive text. I'm coming in my Volvo!

[MattBLancs]

Good job it was not confirming a different parent was borrowing her car for the collection! I e.

Your dad's just coming in my Volvo

would have been even worse once "corrected"

[mickthemaverick]

Good job it was not confirming a different parent was borrowing her car for the collection! I e.

Your dad's just coming in my Volvo

would have been even worse once "corrected"

Or even worse your Uncle Sid.......etc!!!

[CitroJim]

I try never to use the term 'coming' in any context as it's so easy to get the wrong end of the stick... maybe a reflection of the demographic I spend most of my time with...

Or even worse your Uncle Sid.......etc!!!

When I was a kid, a local town legend was called Sid... One night he was found dead in the back of his brown MK III Cortina 2000E after indulging in a bit of illicit nookey... Fatal heart attack allegedly...

We never did know who the young lady was but the car became very familiar to me - one of my uncles acquired it...

[myglaren]

Just been in Aldi, they selling humpty dumpty dolls... Apparently the come with Aldi kings horses and Aldi kings men

[Stickyfinger]

that cracked me down

[myglaren]

I like this one from Vice Admiral Sir Arthur Hezlet:

“My father had a small sailing boat on the Medway and remembered HMS Repulse being secured to a buoy there when one of his fellow weekend sailors suffered a mishap and rammed the 35,000 ton battlecruiser square amidships in his dinghy. A head popped out of a porthole and a voice said ‘I’m afraid you can’t get through this way; you’ll have to go round one of the ends.’”

[mickthemaverick]

That reminded me of a story in a book of Naval Signals I have somewhere.
Back in 1939 a navy tug was making its way down the Kent coast from Chatham to Portsmouth when the Prime Minister made his famous declaration of war. The signalman brought a new signal from the Admiralty to the skipper which he read immediately:
"Commence hostilities against Germany"
The skipper put the paper down and turned to his helmsman"
"Port 15!"

[Gibbo2286]

Not a joke as such but in a discussion about winter screen-wash this side comment made me chuckle

"I always keep a scrubber in my car and, if the windscreen freezes, I get her to clear it."

[CitroJim]

^^

[Peter.N.]

... and a radio ham I can confirm that., city and guilds for too.

Peter