Joke I found funny...

[mickthemaverick]

Mick and Pat were walking down the road when they passed a lumber yard with a big sign by the gate which read "Tree fellers wanted!".
Pat turned to Mick and said:

Spoiler: show

"It's a pity Sean isn't with us, we could have got the job!"

[Gibbo2286]

Reminded me of the guy working for an Irishman, got his pay with a dollop of sh1t "overtoim is Toim and a turd."

[mickthemaverick]

That's 'orrible!!

[mickthemaverick]

'orrible although it was, it reminded me about the two old men of the road, Dan and Pete, who were strolling down a country lane together one day.
Pete stopped, his nose twitching as he sniffed the air, "Ave you crapped yerself Dan?" he asked
"No I aint" came the reply. They strolled on.
After a few more minutes Pete stopped again sniffing the air "Are you sure you aint crapped yerself Dan?"
"No I ave not!" exclaimed Dan, they walked on.
Another few minutes passed and finally Pete stopped and said " Oi don't beleive ya Dan, get them trousers down and I can see fer meself"
Dan lowered his trousers and a great log spilled out!!
"There yew are Dan , I knew yew ad!"

"Oh" said Dan

Spoiler: show

"I thought you meant today!"

[Hell Razor5543]

Apparently if a woman becomes pregnant in the Amazon Rain Forest it is next day delivery!

I won't say I buy a lot from Amazon, but I recently got a wedding invitation from one of their drivers!

[myglaren]

Not a joke.
I ordered something from eBay yesterday.
Amazon delivered it today.

[Paul-R]

Not a joke.
I ordered something from eBay yesterday.
Amazon delivered it today.

That's exactly what happened with us a week ago.

I ordered a cordless impact gun on behalf of my brother for delivery to his house through a company on Ebay and when it was delivered it was by Amazon. The problem was that the driver wanted a six digit code before he would release the parcel and we hadn't got one. I checked my emails and Ebay messages but nothing. The driver took the parcel away and I emailed the vendor. They gave me a code but no apology or explanation.

My brother was on the point of telling them to stuff it except that they were the cheapest.

[Rp0thejester]

I'm quite shocked at how much time people have to type a joke! You struggling to find that puzzle piece??

[Peter.N.]

I have had this scenario several times, you think you have ordered it from Ebay and it arrives from Amazon?

Peter

[myglaren]

Second time for me. Definitely ordered from eBay, left feedback there for it.

[mickthemaverick]

A quotation I came across today from Barry Cryer:

"Politicians are like baby's nappies, they should be changed often - and for the same reason!"

[myglaren]

Sorry to moan on here but I’m absolutely fcking fed up with people whinging about the prices of things.

£1.50 for tea , £1.75 for coffee ,£2 for a slice of cake and £2.50 for parking .

Any more complaints and honest to God I will stop inviting my friends to my house.

[Peter.N.]

Sounds like a touch of the Milton Jones,s

Peter

[Paul-R]

Well, what a night - I spent half of it on the john and the other half having weird dreams. Looked out the window this morning and thought I saw a sausage flying down the street - but when I looked again it was a seagull, and it wasn't even carrying a sausage. I've taken a tern for the wurst.

[myglaren]

Sent my hearing aid for repair a couple of weeks ago.






Still haven't heard anything.