Joke I found funny...

[myglaren]

Like many people, I had no idea what to do after I left school.
But after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go home.

[Huskyxantia]

saw a scribble on a toilet wall years ago said

Masterbation stunts your growth then on the lower part of the wall someone wrote , now you bloody tell me.....

[myglaren]

A bloke stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'
The bloke left.

A few days later, the same bloke stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'
The bloke left.

A week later, the same bloke stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?
The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half .
The bloke left.

The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favour , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.'

A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?'
Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, 'Your house!'

[Huskyxantia]

above

[Steve Walsh]

Morris & his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter."
Esther alway replied, "I know Morris , but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars".
One year Esther & Morris wnet to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance".
To this, Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word, I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."
Morris & Esther agree & up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over & over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris & said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"

Spoiler: show

Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!"

[Huskyxantia]

[mickthemaverick]

Not sure if this was the same barbers as Steve was talking about but a sailor stuck his head round the door of the barber and asked "How much is a crew cut mate?"
"£3.75" replied the barber. "Ok that 's great" said the sailor and turned round and yelled "Come on lads!!"

[Hell Razor5543]

Not sure if this was the same barbers as Steve was talking about but a sailor stuck his head round the door of the barber and asked "How much is a crew cut mate?"
"£3.75" replied the barber. "Ok that 's great" said the sailor and turned round and yelled "Come on lads!!"

Erm, you posted this joke 2 pages ago!

[mickthemaverick]

Erm, you posted this joke 2 pages ago!

So I did, I thought I'd heard it before!!

[Hell Razor5543]

Erm, you posted this joke 2 pages ago!

So I did, I thought I'd heard it before!!

Not to worry, I know that there have been occasions where I have posted jokes up twice on this thread!

[myglaren]

I'm sure I have been guilty of the same.

I saw a bull charging in a field yesterday.
Who knew they used electricity?

[Paul-R]

[myglaren]

[myglaren]

[Peter.N.]

Oh yes that's me.