Joke I found funny...

[Steve Walsh]

[myglaren]

[white exec]

[Steve Walsh]

[Peter.N.]

Peter

[myglaren]

[Steve007]

Not really a joke but reputedly a true story with an amusing lilt prompted by Colin's Joke:

Back in the mid 20th Century the USA and Britain were engaged in a race to produce the thinnest fibre for fibre optic data transmission. The institutes concerned were the physics department at either Yale or Harvard, I'm not sure which, and the BT Research Labs at Martlesham Heath having relocated there from Dollis Hill. Again I cannot be sure of actual dates but the story goes that the Americans had a major breakthrough and sent a sample of their new ultra narrow fibre rod smirkingly to Martlesham for examination. The engineers at Martlesham drilled a hole through its length turning it into a pipe and sent it back!!

heard Mick's story back in the 1950s but it was then about a Birmingham tube manufacturer. :

The actual fact to this,was a company in the good old usa,produced a micro drill bit( on the scale of 1 human air) and sent it to one off Manchester engineering university
In which they tapped & dia it and sent it back..

[Dormouse]

You should just have included Tennents. It is definitely s**t. Can't stand the stuff!

[Dormouse]

I think he was being kind!

[myglaren]

Celebrities when they were young.

[myglaren]

[myglaren]

Struggling to get you wife's attention ?

Just sit down and look comfortable....

[myglaren]

The bicycle is the slow death of the planet.

General Director of Euro Exim Bank Ltd. got economists thinking when he said:
"A cyclist is a disaster for the country's economy: he does not buy cars and does not borrow money to buy. He does not pay for insurance policies. He does not buy fuel, does not pay for the necessary maintenance and repairs. He does not use paid parking. He does not cause serious accidents. He does not require multi-lane highways. He does not get fat.

Healthy people are neither needed nor useful for the economy. They don't buy medicine. They do not go to hospitals or doctors. Nothing is added to the country's GDP (gross domestic product).

On the contrary, every new McDonald's restaurant creates at least 30 jobs: 10 cardiologists, 10 dentists, 10 dietary experts and nutritionists, and obviously, people who work at the restaurant itself."
Choose carefully: cyclist or McDonald's? It is worth considering.

P.S. Walking is even worse. Pedestrians don't even buy bicycles.

[Steve Walsh]

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.
The waiter comes and takes their drink order.
“I would like a Sprite,” said the first little piggy.
“I would like a Coke,” said the second little piggy.
“I want water, lots and lots of water,” said the third little piggy.
The drinks are brought out and the waiter takes their orders for dinner.
“I want a nice big steak,” said the first piggy.
“I would like the salad plate,” said the second piggy.
“I want water, lots and lots of water,” said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
“I want a banana split,” said the first piggy.
“I want a root beer float,” said the second piggy.
“I want water, lots and lots of water,” exclaimed the third little piggy.
“Pardon me for asking,” said the waiter, “but why have you only ordered water?”
The third piggy says—

Spoiler: show

“Well, somebody has to go ‘Wee, wee, wee, all the way home.

[myglaren]

I entered a bus, A woman and her 7 years old son were sitting beside me in the bus. It was raining and all the twilight girls (Prostitutes) were standing by the roadside.

The boy asked; “Mummy, what are all those women doing?.

His Mother replied; “They are waiting for their husbands to come back from work.”

The bus driver turned around and said;

“Why don’t you tell him the truth?
Little boy, they are prostitutes, they sleep with men for money. Said the Driver”

The boy’s eyes got wide and asked; “Mummy is that true?”

His mother, glaring hard at the driver replied; “Yes.!!”

After a few minutes, the boy asked; “Mummy, what happens to the babies those women have?.”

She replied; “Most of them become bus drivers.