Joke I found funny...

[Jaycshetland]

How do you spot a blind man in a nudist camp ?
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It's not hard.

Just spat my coffee out

[admiral51]

In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a ******** wall."

[myglaren]

[myglaren]

A young warrior decided to go walk-about in the woods. He hadn't gone far when he came across a beautiful young squaw and decided to rest a while. When enough days had gone by, he felt the wanderlust again. But before he left, he went out and killed a roebuck, skinned it, tanned its hide, and gave it to the squaw as a token of his appreciation. He then went on his merry way. Nine months later the squaw gave birth to a beautiful, bouncing baby boy whom she wrapped in the deer hide.

Meanwhile, the warrior continued on his way until he came across another lovely squaw who persuaded him to tarry a while. But of course, the wanderlust eventually took over him, and it was time to leave. But not before he had killed another buck and presented its hide to the squaw as a token of his appreciation. Sure enough, the squaw nine months later gave birth to a bouncing baby boy whom she wrapped in the deer hide.

The warrior continued on his way, and met up with a third squaw, with whom he spent some time. This one was very special indeed, and when it was time for the warrior to leave, he went out and hunted down a hippopotamus, killed it, skinned it and tanned its hide. He gave it to the squaw, who nine months later gave birth to twin boys, whom she wrapped in the hippopotamus hide.

Which just goes to show that Pythagoras was right:

Spoiler: show

The sons of the squaw on the hippopotamus hide were equal to the sum of the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.

[myglaren]

Hollywood company making a movie about Africa when they realised the script needed someone to speak Swahili, which of course none of the Americans did.
So the call went out for anybody who could speak Swahili.
A British chap volunteered and taught the actor a line of Swahili.
So the scene was shot and things returned to normal, until the movie played in Kenya, where about everybody speaks Swahili.
There they saw a native scene where this runner-messenger rushes in, collapses at the feet of the chief, and gasps out as he faints, “I don’t believe I am being paid enough for this scene.”

[Huskyxantia]

Hahahahahahahahahaha good ere ain't it ... Cracking jokes ! Love em

[mickthemaverick]

I was having trouble upgrading the RAM in my PC to 8Gb so I phoned PC World tech support and told him my PC wouldn't recognise the extra 4Gb I had installed. "You need 64 bit windows" was his advice so I threw the chair through but it still wouldn't work!!

[Steve Walsh]

Copied from a friend

[Gibbo2286]

A nun and a eunuch on a hot date...............virgin on the impossible.

[mickthemaverick]

Reminds me of the Nun getting a piggy back from Cocoa the clown, virgin on the ridiculous!

[mickthemaverick]

Went out last night in my classic car. Filled the Escort with diesel!!

Spoiler: show

She died

!

[catron1]

A Trinidadian man was signaled to stop by a traffic COP instead of stopping he picked up speed and drove away. The police officer pursued the man but faster and faster he drove. Eventually the police cornered him. Cop: "Sir why did you not stop when I signaled you to stop and have me chasing after you all over town"?. Man: "Well officer my wife ran off and left me for a policeman and I thought it was him bringing her back so I sped off".

[Hell Razor5543]

What do you get if you pour boiling water down rabbit holes?

Spoiler: show

Hot, cross bunnies (obviously)!

[mickthemaverick]

A huge argument broke out in our family last night, we were at complete loggerheads over Grandma. The men all felt that she should be cremated while the women were all in favour of a burial in her local church yard. It became so heated and nasty that in the end we decided to

Spoiler: show

let her live.

[Peter.N.]

Yes.