Joke I found funny...
Moderator: RichardW
- mickthemaverick
- Donor 2024
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Re: Joke I found funny...
I puzzled over that for ages noticing only the spelling and the impossible equation but I didn't get it.. then I recognised Dave!!
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
- mickthemaverick
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 13666
- Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
- Location: Hertford
- My Cars: 70+ former cars (list available) including 11 Citroens, 3 Renaults
Current cars: 2004 Subaru Legacy 2.5 SEn, 1994 Mazda MX3 - x 6066
Re: Joke I found funny...
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
- NewcastleFalcon
- Posts: 24740
- Joined: 25 Feb 2009, 10:40
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- My Cars:
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Re: Joke I found funny...
As unlikely as it may seem, two astrophysicists are travelling through the further reaches of the known universe when a miscalculation pulls them into a black hole.
In a desperate attempt to get out alive, the first scientist goes into a frenzy of punching co-ordinates into the spaceship’s faster-than-light drive. Meanwhile the second scientist remains calm and carries on making notes.
The first scientist, still working at a feverish pace, says: “What are you doing? We’re about to be sucked into a black hole!”
Replies the second: “I know. Noteworthy, isn’t it?”
In a desperate attempt to get out alive, the first scientist goes into a frenzy of punching co-ordinates into the spaceship’s faster-than-light drive. Meanwhile the second scientist remains calm and carries on making notes.
The first scientist, still working at a feverish pace, says: “What are you doing? We’re about to be sucked into a black hole!”
Replies the second: “I know. Noteworthy, isn’t it?”
- Spoiler: show
Only One AA Box left
687 Trinity, Jersey
687 Trinity, Jersey
- CitroJim
- A very naughty boy
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Re: Joke I found funny...
^^^ Neil, that's awesome
Jim
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
- NewcastleFalcon
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Re: Joke I found funny...
The old engineering/science humour seems to be going well so try this one, more observational than belly laugh.
Regards NeilA man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 59 and 60 degrees north latitude and between 107 and 108 degrees west longitude.”
“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.
“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”
The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”
- Spoiler: show
“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
- Spoiler: show
Only One AA Box left
687 Trinity, Jersey
687 Trinity, Jersey
- mickthemaverick
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 13666
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Current cars: 2004 Subaru Legacy 2.5 SEn, 1994 Mazda MX3 - x 6066
Re: Joke I found funny...
I'll risk this as it's a bank holiday
Sharon volunteered to undertake a top secret mission in a space vehicle. She was told to board the capsule and sit in the centre seat where she would meet her colleagues on either side. As she settled into her seat she noticed that her colleagues were both very hairy chaps with smiley faces. In front of each of them were envelopes labelled your secret orders. The pilot on the left of her opened his envelope and read out his orders;
Check inline fuel pressure
Check tank temperature
Check fin alignment
Check boost control valve sequencing
Check thrust temperature
Check burn control valve
Check capsule release circuits
Check oxygen supply valves
Check waste disposal decontamination
Check hydro thermal desalination condenser
Fire rocket
Then the navigator to the right opened his envelope and read his orders:
Check fin rest angle
Check vertical displacement offset angle
Check free movement on all compasses
Check horizontal attitude stabilizers
Check all direction control thrusters
Check programmed orbit co-ordinates
Check final descent position
Check orbit aquisition velocity stabiliser
Check communications internal
Check radio comms external
Considerably worried Sharon opened her orders:
Sharon volunteered to undertake a top secret mission in a space vehicle. She was told to board the capsule and sit in the centre seat where she would meet her colleagues on either side. As she settled into her seat she noticed that her colleagues were both very hairy chaps with smiley faces. In front of each of them were envelopes labelled your secret orders. The pilot on the left of her opened his envelope and read out his orders;
Check inline fuel pressure
Check tank temperature
Check fin alignment
Check boost control valve sequencing
Check thrust temperature
Check burn control valve
Check capsule release circuits
Check oxygen supply valves
Check waste disposal decontamination
Check hydro thermal desalination condenser
Fire rocket
Then the navigator to the right opened his envelope and read his orders:
Check fin rest angle
Check vertical displacement offset angle
Check free movement on all compasses
Check horizontal attitude stabilizers
Check all direction control thrusters
Check programmed orbit co-ordinates
Check final descent position
Check orbit aquisition velocity stabiliser
Check communications internal
Check radio comms external
Considerably worried Sharon opened her orders:
- Spoiler: show
Last edited by mickthemaverick on 01 Jan 2021, 10:36, edited 2 times in total.
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
- Huskyxantia
- Donor 2023
- Posts: 2056
- Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
- Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
- My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw
Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .
Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice. - x 429
Re: Joke I found funny...
An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Years Eve. One was charged and the other was let off
Better new year everyone.. Happy seems a bit wrong considering the obvious.
Better new year everyone.. Happy seems a bit wrong considering the obvious.
Husky.
- Huskyxantia
- Donor 2023
- Posts: 2056
- Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
- Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
- My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw
Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .
Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice. - x 429
Re: Joke I found funny...
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she'd popped her clogs.
Husky.
- myglaren
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Ooops.
Previously:
2009 Honda Civic :(
C5, C5, Xantia, BX, GS, Visa.
R4, R11TXE, R14, R30TX - x 4922
Re: Joke I found funny...
mickthemaverick wrote: ↑01 Jan 2021, 10:28 I'll risk this as it's a bank holiday
Sharon volunteered to undertake a top secret mission in a space vehicle. She was told to board the capsule and sit in the centre seat where she would meet her colleagues on either side. As she settled into her seat she noticed that her colleagues were both very hairy chaps with smiley faces. In front of each of them were envelopes labelled your secret orders. The pilot on the left of her opened his envelope and read out his orders;
Check inline fuel pressure
Check tank temperature
Check fin alignment
Check boost control valve sequencing
Check thrust temperature
Check burn control valve
Check capsule release circuits
Check oxygen supply valves
Check waste disposal decontamination
Check hydro thermal desalination condenser
Fire rocket
Then the navigator to the right opened his envelope and read his orders:
Check fin rest angle
Check vertical displacement offset angle
Check free movement on all compasses
Check horizontal attitude stabilizers
Check all direction control thrusters
Check programmed orbit co-ordinates
Check final descent position
Check orbit aquisition velocity stabiliser
Check communications internal
Check radio comms external
Considerably worried Sharon opened her orders:
- Spoiler: show
- CitroJim
- A very naughty boy
- Posts: 49658
- Joined: 30 Apr 2005, 23:33
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- My Cars: Bluebell the AX, Polly the C3 Picasso, Pix the Nissan Pixo, Propel the duathlon bike, TCR Pro the road bike and Fuji the TT bike...
- x 6204
- Contact:
Re: Joke I found funny...
That's terrible... I guess you felt a bit deflated....Huskyxantia wrote: ↑01 Jan 2021, 14:17 I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she'd popped her clogs.
Jim
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
- mickthemaverick
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 13666
- Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
- Location: Hertford
- My Cars: 70+ former cars (list available) including 11 Citroens, 3 Renaults
Current cars: 2004 Subaru Legacy 2.5 SEn, 1994 Mazda MX3 - x 6066
Re: Joke I found funny...
I went to see the Doctor because I was worried about losing control of my senses. He put me on a staple diet and told me to go home and pull myself together!!
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
- Huskyxantia
- Donor 2023
- Posts: 2056
- Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
- Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
- My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw
Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .
Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice. - x 429
- CitroJim
- A very naughty boy
- Posts: 49658
- Joined: 30 Apr 2005, 23:33
- Location: Paggers
- My Cars: Bluebell the AX, Polly the C3 Picasso, Pix the Nissan Pixo, Propel the duathlon bike, TCR Pro the road bike and Fuji the TT bike...
- x 6204
- Contact:
Re: Joke I found funny...
I've become addicted to brake fluid after working on Daffodil's brakes so intensively these past few days...
It's OK though, I can stop at any time...
It's OK though, I can stop at any time...
Jim
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Runner, cyclist, time triallist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
- mickthemaverick
- Donor 2024
- Posts: 13666
- Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
- Location: Hertford
- My Cars: 70+ former cars (list available) including 11 Citroens, 3 Renaults
Current cars: 2004 Subaru Legacy 2.5 SEn, 1994 Mazda MX3 - x 6066
Re: Joke I found funny...
I went to see the optician because I was worried about my eyesight deteriorating. "What is the difficulty you are having?" he asked. "I simply can't see as far as I used to!" I said. He took me out into the back yard and pointed up into the sky. "What's that?" He asked. "Well it's the sun" I said puzzled.
- Spoiler: show
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
- Huskyxantia
- Donor 2023
- Posts: 2056
- Joined: 30 Jul 2018, 22:11
- Location: Surrey Kent sussex border
- My Cars: Past cars
Xsara Picasso 2019 to 2022 r.i.p
Xantia mk1&2 1.9D & 2.0Hdi
Peugeot 206 sw 1.4hdi
Other models
Skoda fabia,escort van,ford ka,Vauxhall astra g car & estate, Vauxhall corsa b, Suzuki swift
Escorts mk 1,2,3,4,5 fiestas mk 1,2, Sierra diesel mk1 Mondeo mk1 diesel .
Peugeot 207 , 307sw
Now cars
Picasso 2.0Hdi now gone to scrappie
Citroen zx estate 1.9D the cherished one
Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .
Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice. - x 429
Re: Joke I found funny...
A friend of mine had a hobby ..collecting Very very deep holes, to be honest I couldn't see anything in it myself......
Husky.