Joke I found funny...

[doctle]

I can do worse ..

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers

[mickthemaverick]

"My cars fuel gauge doesn't work!"
"How do you know when you are low on petrol then?"
"The kids bring it back!!"

[Peter.N.]

That strikes a chord.

Peter

[Huskyxantia]

A pig stands in front of an electric socket: “Oh no, who put you into that wall?!”


Sorry ... Yes its bad ........Exit left...

[Huskyxantia]

An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was

[Huskyxantia]

A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."

[mickthemaverick]

Chap walks into the pub and orders a treble scotch. "What's up mate?" asks the bartender.
"The wife is fuming with me!"
"What did you do?"
"I saw her leaning into the chest freezer in her miniskirt and I couldn't resist the temptation" replied the chap.
"No wonder she's fuming, assaulting her dignity like that!!" says the barman.
"Oh, that's not why she's fuming,

Spoiler: show

it was getting banned from Iceland that upset her!!"

[Huskyxantia]

Hahahahahah above

[CitroJim]

Hahahahahah above

+1

[NewcastleFalcon]

Karl Marx is an historically famous figure.
But you never hear about his sister, Onya,
who invented the starting pistol.

Regards Neil

[myglaren]

[CitroJim]

to both of those...

[Hell Razor5543]

I went to see a holistic optician recently. She told me to look inwards, and say what I saw. I replied "I can see pubs and bars that are closed, people hardly going out (and when they do they are wearing face coverings), lots of news articles about a pandemic, and reports of lots of people in hospital or dying".

Spoiler: show

"Congratulations" she said, "You have 2020 vision".

[Huskyxantia]

I went to see a holistic optician recently. She told me to look inwards, and say what I saw. I replied "I can see pubs and bars that are closed, people hardly going out (and when they do they are wearing face coverings), lots of news articles about a pandemic, and reports of lots of people in hospital or dying".

Spoiler: show

"Congratulations" she said, "You have 2020 vision".

Hahahahaha.... Like it like it !

[Peter.N.]