Joke I found funny...

[mickthemaverick]

No doubt everyone has heard about the two parrots sitting on a perch but did you hear about the two robins sitting on a log? One turned to the other and said

Spoiler: show

"Are they muck spreading again?"

[mickthemaverick]

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

[mickthemaverick]

Talking of long words, does anyone know the longest word in the English language?

Spoiler: show

Smiles..................there's a mile between the esses!

[Hell Razor5543]

Does anybody know which word is impossible to measure?

Spoiler: show

Elastic, because it continually changes its' length!

[myglaren]

Just for Marc!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...

[GiveMeABreak]

Very Good! It just happened I was having a browse of here when I saw that

Although I've probably lost the plot on this one from Mr Fake: - my brain is probably still in serious mode, so someone will have to explain..... unles it's to do with some secret Mercedes fan club code, in which case don't bother!

[mickthemaverick]

We're in the gloom together on that one Marc!!

[myglaren]

Me too.

[NewcastleFalcon]

Few bits of possible interpretation info.

1826 days is 5 years.
The file is called LAGCOUPE
The car on the left of the two greys could well be a Renault Laguna Coupe with the photoshopping of a mercedes badge on it



REgards Neil

[Beth_S]

The first time I saw one of those Laguna coupes, I thought it was an Aston Martin!

[CitroJim]

Running a Marathon joke

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway. “Oh my God – Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!” “I can’t jump out the window, It’s raining out there!” “If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!” she replied. “He’s got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!” So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. “Do you always run in the nude?” one asked. “Oh yes!” he replied, gasping for air. “It feels so wonderfully free!” Another runner moved alongside him. “Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?” “Oh, yes” our friend answered breathlessly. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!” Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”

“Nope……… just when it’s raining”

[myglaren]

[CitroJim]

^^

[mickthemaverick]

An exercise for people who are out of shape:

Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Spoiler: show

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag

[Peter.N.]