Joke I found funny...

[mickthemaverick]

Rusty Bed Springs by I.P.Knightly

[mickthemaverick]

How to Satisfy the Wife by Hugh Jampton

[myglaren]

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[doctle]

Hear about the social climber Mr Woodcock..................................changed his name to Okehampton.

I dont get it

[mickthemaverick]

Preparing Receipts by Marcus Peyed

[NewcastleFalcon]

Hear about the social climber Mr Woodcock..................................changed his name to Okehampton.

I dont get it

Nor me, but it is Cockney Rhyming Slang apparently Hampton Wick....

Regards Neil

[mickthemaverick]

Riddle

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when
you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.


2. An old friend who once saved your life.


3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.


Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could
only be one passenger in your car. Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of
a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is
going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the
old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the
perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find
your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble
coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car
keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would
stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought
limitations. Never forget to "Think outside of the Box."

HOWEVER....

The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her
misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then
drive off with the old friend for a few beers.
God, I just love happy endings!

[Hell Razor5543]

Just heard on "Only Connect";

A man walks into a chippy with a salmon under his arm. He asks the chippy "Do you do fish cakes?", to get the reply "Yes, of course". "Oh, good", says the man, "it's his birthday".

[Paul-R]

Haha! I was watching Only Connect as well.

[mickthemaverick]

Woman as explained by an engineer:

Sent by mate

[myglaren]

[mickthemaverick]

Woman as explained by a physicist :

sbm

[myglaren]

In case the country gets invaded and I have to quickly hide, I have a big pop art painting on my wall that hides a secret panic room.

I call it my handy war hole.

[doctle]

In case the country gets invaded and I have to quickly hide, I have a big pop art painting on my wall that hides a secret panic room.

I call it my handy war hole.

And that's art!

[myglaren]