Joke I found funny...

This is the place for posts that don't fit into any other category.

Moderator: RichardW

User avatar
mickthemaverick
Donor 2021
Posts: 7042
Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
x 1978

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

Sorry Paul!! :)

A woman walks into the Liverpool benefits office, trailed by 15 kids...
'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?

'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard
that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down Terry.' All the children rush
to find seats.

'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need
all your children's names.'

'This one's my oldest - he is Terry.'
'OK, and who's next?'
'Well, this one he is Terry, also.'
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the
oldest four, all boys, all named Terry. Then she is introduced to the
eldest girl, named Terri. 'All right,' says the caseworker. 'I'm seeing a
pattern here. Are they ALL named Terri?'
Their Mother replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get
them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Terry!' An' when it's time
for dinner, I just yell 'Terry!' an' they all come runnin.' An' if I need
to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Terry' and all
of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Terry.'

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and
says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the
whole bunch?'
Spoiler: show
'I call them by their surnames !'
Online
User avatar
Paul-R
Donor 2020
Posts: 5369
Joined: 07 May 2009, 16:24
x 777

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Paul-R »

mickthemaverick wrote:
29 Sep 2020, 17:04
Sorry Paul!!
S'allright, I'm not from Liverpool.

My wife however...
andy5
Donor 2018
Posts: 421
Joined: 05 Nov 2010, 14:40
x 78

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by andy5 »

Image
Online
User avatar
Paul-R
Donor 2020
Posts: 5369
Joined: 07 May 2009, 16:24
x 777

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Paul-R »

Trump Covid.jpg
User avatar
mickthemaverick
Donor 2021
Posts: 7042
Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
x 1978

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

BFTW
BFTW
"I ordered a coVERT operation!!!!"
doctle
Posts: 947
Joined: 16 Oct 2014, 12:17
x 219

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by doctle »

Last night the wife told me her pubic area looked like a coconut. I said its bounty
User avatar
mickthemaverick
Donor 2021
Posts: 7042
Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
x 1978

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

Did you hear about the Russian athlete whose vasectomy went wrong? - Ivor Bolakoff!
User avatar
myglaren
Forum Admin Team
Posts: 20178
Joined: 02 Mar 2008, 14:30
x 1627

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by myglaren »

Sammy.jpg
User avatar
CitroJim
A very naughty boy
Posts: 43889
Joined: 30 Apr 2005, 23:33
x 1780

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by CitroJim »

:lol: to both yours Mick and yours Steve :D

Both excellent afternoon giggles!
Gibbo2286
Donor 2020
Posts: 5362
Joined: 08 Jun 2011, 18:04
x 1175

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Gibbo2286 »

Honeymooners parked their camper in the farmer's field, next morning the farmer tapped the door-

"There's breakfast on in the farmhouse if you wish."

"No thanks, we're living on the fruits of love."

Next morning the same "There's breakfast on in the farmhouse if you wish."

"No thanks, we're living on the fruits of love."

Next morning "There's breakfast on in the farmhouse if you wish."

"No thanks, we're living on the fruits of love."


"Ok but please stop chucking the skins out the window they're choking me ducks."
Online
User avatar
Paul-R
Donor 2020
Posts: 5369
Joined: 07 May 2009, 16:24
x 777

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Paul-R »

Flip. I can remember hearing that one 50 years ago at school!
Gibbo2286
Donor 2020
Posts: 5362
Joined: 08 Jun 2011, 18:04
x 1175

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Gibbo2286 »

Hear about the social climber Mr Woodcock..................................changed his name to Okehampton.
User avatar
mickthemaverick
Donor 2021
Posts: 7042
Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
x 1978

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

Gibbo2286 wrote:
10 Oct 2020, 13:05
Hear about the social climber Mr Woodcock..................................changed his name to Okehampton.
On that subject and referring back to my last offering

Ivor Bolakoff emigrated to China and changed his name to Wun Hung Lo.
User avatar
mickthemaverick
Donor 2021
Posts: 7042
Joined: 11 May 2019, 17:56
x 1978

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

How about a few of the books from the 60's?

I'll start with Edge of the Cliff by Eileen Dover!
Gibbo2286
Donor 2020
Posts: 5362
Joined: 08 Jun 2011, 18:04
x 1175

Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Gibbo2286 »

mickthemaverick wrote:
10 Oct 2020, 13:28
How about a few of the books from the 60's?

I'll start with Edge of the Cliff by Eileen Dover!
Heap in the road by GG Dunnet.