Joke I found funny...

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myglaren
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Gibbo2286
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Charlie was posted away with work for 18 months, when he returns his wife had a three month old child, she says it's definitely his.

He goes to the doctor to ask if that's possible.

The doctor tells him it's what's called a 'grudge pregnancy' "Somebody has had it in for you while you were away."
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Re: Joke I found funny...

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In the summing up at the end of QI Sandy offered " The chairman and chief executive of Guinness was involved in a car accident
. On arrival at hospital in Ireland your income is checked because those earning over 11k have to pay for treatment. So on being asked 'Do you earn over 11k?' his reply was 'some days I do and some days I don't!'"
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Did you know that if you make a jam out of hamsters, and then fertilise the ground with the jam, then tulips will grow. As every Dutchman knows, tulips are from hamster jam.
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CitroJim
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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myglaren wrote:
08 Sep 2020, 16:47
Did you know that if you make a jam out of hamsters, and then fertilise the ground with the jam, then tulips will grow. As every Dutchman knows, tulips are from hamster jam.
Very good! :lol:
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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:-D
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mickthemaverick
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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On a similar note Steve I remember hearing about an African Chieftain who ordered a new throne from Harrods. When it arrived he had it installed in his hut and the old one was put up in his loft. Sadly three days later he was killed when the old throne fell through the ceiling and crushed him. The moral of the story is simple, people in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones!! :-D
Last edited by mickthemaverick on 08 Sep 2020, 21:02, edited 1 time in total.
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Paul-R
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Ha! I heard it was people who live in grass houses...
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mickthemaverick
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Paul-R wrote:
08 Sep 2020, 20:59
Ha! I heard it was people who live in grass houses...
You're right Paul, I remembered it wrong but I will amend it now!! :-D
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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A five year old at the school gates on his first day, says he doesn't want to go, mom says "you must go to school until you're sixteen it's the law," little boy stops half way up the path, turns and says sadly, "You will come and fetch me when I'm sixteen!."
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Twins went to school for the first time. When their Mother picked them up in the afternoon she asked them how they much they had learned. The first twin answered "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow", while the other twin replied "The teachers are really stupid. They had to ask me for the answers to really simple things".
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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Re: Joke I found funny...

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