Joke I found funny...

[myglaren]

[myglaren]

A man starts a new job at the zoo and is given three tasks to start with.

First is to clear the exotic fish pond of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who is boss he beats it to death with a spade.
Realizing his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, since lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both.
What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them in with the lions.








Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says, "What's the food like here?" The old lion says "Absolutely brilliant.
Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees."

[white exec]

Wonderful, and truly horrible at the same time...

[Peter.N.]

Milton Jones 'My grandad went down to the local school, stormed into the classroom and said " if it wasn't for me you would all be speaking German" Yes, said the German teacher.

Peter

[steveinfrance]

Fish and chimps and mushy bees.......... Hilarious ! I'm stealing it !

[myglaren]

[Peter.N.]

I like that.

Peter

[mickthemaverick]

Another Milton Jones gem: "My grandfather had 5 brothers who all followed their father into the police marksman profession. In defiance my grandfather set about robbing banks, sadly I heard this morning that he died last night, surrounded by his family!!"

[Peter.N.]

Yes,

Peter

[myglaren]

[Peter.N.]

Another Milton Jones

His grandfather goes into a school classroom and says 'if it wasn't for me you would all be speaking German' Yes, said the German teacher.

Did I put this on before?

Peter

[mickthemaverick]

Afraid so Peter, which is why I headed mine another MJ gem

[Peter.N.]

Oh dear, I wonder how much longer I'm going to be able to repair my cars for.

[crapday69]

I had sex in a lift. It was So wrong on many levels.

[mickthemaverick]

I had sex in a lift. It was So wrong on many levels.

Interesting play with words here, I thought that should have read :

I had sex in a lift. It was wrong on So many levels!