Joke I found funny...

[Hell Razor5543]

I have over 400 pages of jokes (OK, terror!) to inflict upon you, and some of the jokes are worse than my own!

Oh, dear. I just remembered something. I was given, for Christmas, "The Giant Book Of Jokes". Another 2,000 jokes are available for me to look up.

Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!

[mickthemaverick]

********

[CitroJim]

Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!

James, I've only just come back on the forum... Are you trying to drive me away again?

[Hell Razor5543]

Jim, NO chance! I am just trying (yes, I know, I am VERY trying) to help cheer people up.

[CitroJim]

Jim, NO chance! I am just trying (yes, I know, I am VERY trying) to help cheer people up.

And you are succeeding James Keep it up!

[myglaren]

[Paul-R]

Pfah! Lightweights. And now Page 87:

Two mathematicians had been struggling to work out the height of a long pole leaning against a wall. Eventually an engineer came by and offered to help. He took hold of the pole, laid it on the ground and measured it with a tape.
"Typical engineer", said one of the mathematicians. "We wanted the height and he gave us the length!"

What did the Dalek who worked in a beauty parlour say?
EX-FOL-I-ATE!
EX-FOL-I-ATE!

God and Satan are in dispute about the boundary between heaven and hell. Eventually God threatens to take Satan to court.
"Good luck on that," says Satan "and where are you going to find a lawyer?"

[mickthemaverick]

That's getting better!!

[mickthemaverick]

Since SWMBO returned from Australia, our consumption of toilet paper has quadrupled!! How do I know you ask?

Spoiler: show

I do the laundry

!

[Paul-R]

I don't understand that and maybe I don't want to!

[Hell Razor5543]

What did the Dalek who converted to Catholicism say?
"Excommunicate! Excommunicate!"

The defendant stood up in the dock and said "I don't recognise this court". "Why not?" barked the Judge. "Because it has been decorated since I was last here", came the reply.

The defendants' barrister asked "Madam, can you tell the court just why you stabbed your husband 93 times?". "Oh yes "replied the defendant "I couldn't turn off the electric carving knife".

Halfway through a long summing up a Barrister stopped and said "My Lord, I object. One of the jury has gone to sleep". The Judge replied "You put him to sleep, you wake him up".

How many police officers does it take to break an egg. None; it fell down the stairs by itself.

[myglaren]

[mickthemaverick]

I was driving this morning when I saw a parked RAC van.
The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.
I thought to myself that guy's heading for a breakdown.

[myglaren]

BREAKING NEWS:
Two people found sunbathing in Scotland today have tested positive for hypothermia.

[myglaren]