I have today put this announcement out on Social Media...
It is with great sadness I have today stood down as the Team MK Time Trial Secretary.
Whilst I have thoroughly enjoyed managing the first 9 rounds of the Evening 10 series of events and a fairly successful Open event, it has unfortunately taken a significant toll on my health, mental especially, never very robust at the best of times.
I have also stepped back from parkrun for a while whilst I concentrate on my recovery. I'll be running them rather than volunteering although I'll be continuing as normal with Junior parkrun.
It has been truly great to see the Team MK TT events go from strength to strength under my tenure and the riders thoroughly enjoying them; I wish Team MK all the very best going forward and thank them for their understanding and support at this time.
For now I'll be concentrating on regaining my health and happiness by running a lot more, spending quality time with friends, being very social, playing with old Citroens, fiddling about with vintage radios and seeing if I can find a few duathlons to race.
The upshot of which will see me rather more active on here and seeing me spending much more time playing with old cars.
It had to be done before serious things happened to me.
Jim
Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
I hope you know what you are doing planning to spend more time on here Jim - I reckon this lot would drive anyone around the twist!
I hope you are able to get back into running, as it been pretty obvious that the running and cycling have been hugely beneficial to your health. I know that you got involved with organising events because you enjoyed it, but I wonder if to some extent you replaced the stress of work with the stress of needing to get every detail right to ensure that everyone enjoyed their run (or cycle).
Forgive me clogging up your blog, but I found this article in today's edition of one of our local papers. If I had just posted a link, you'd only be able to read a couple of paragraphs (I have a subscription). It's the story of one of your top cricketers, and (I think) has some parallels to your journey.
When he couldn’t do the Coogee to Bondi walk, Vaughan knew he was in trouble
By Oliver Brown
June 20, 2024 — 11.30am
It was during last autumn’s Dunhill Links at St Andrews, golf’s annual fusion of sport and celebrity, that Michael Vaughan first sensed there was something deeply wrong. Needing to head straight to the driving range to limber up, he found that he could not even haul himself out of bed.
This felt different to the usual morning creakiness, an occupational hazard for anyone who played 82 Test matches. On this occasion, his body would not move, with his roommate Matt Roney, a close friend from Sheffield, required to drag him into position just so that he could put on his shoes.
Not that he knew it then, but it would be the first episode of a nine-month nightmare from which he has only just begun to emerge. While he has kept the details hidden from everybody besides his family and most trusted confidants, Vaughan has been battling a stress-induced inflammatory illness so acute that, on the first day of the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne, he was incapable of picking up a microphone. Soon after, he would battle to complete his Sydney morning ritual – the Coogee to Bondi walk.
“I’ll be honest with you, I was never going to speak about it,” he says. “But then I thought, ‘Wait a minute, there are probably quite a few people who go through similar and stay silent’. I don’t want this to appear as if I’m after any sympathy, because I’m not. I just hope I can help one or two people.”
We meet at Suburban Green, a cafe near his home, where Vaughan exhibits little discomfort beyond the twinges from a weekend’s golf and a morning on the padel court. And yet given the torment of recent months, the very fact that he is out for a coffee at all signals progress. “There were loads of times when I wouldn’t go out, because I was embarrassed. Even climbing in and out of a car was awful. I would try to walk over the road to Starbucks, and I’d be hobbling. Somebody would ask if I was OK. ‘Fine,’ I’d reply. ‘Just a dodgy knee’.”
Except the reality was more alarming. Coupled with the immobility was a pain unlike any he had known, radiating through the joints to his neck and his right shoulder. At 49, Vaughan had gone through life mitigating most aches with ibuprofen tablets – “if in doubt, pop a pink one” was his philosophy – but this time the agony was intolerable. “If I had been 80 with this,” he says, bluntly, “I would have wanted to be shot.”
What he could not fathom was the cause, or the illness his symptoms denoted. He fell into long, fruitless consultations with “Dr Google”, imagining that he had everything from Parkinson’s disease to multiple sclerosis. “I genuinely feared the worst,” he reflects. For somebody who prided himself, even 15 years after his Test retirement, on his fitness regime, the decline was as distressing as it was sudden. But despite extensive MRI scans, doctors could find no structural damage, approving him to fly out for his summer commentating stint in Australia with an industrial supply of steroids.
If he imagined the change of scenery would be restorative, he was mistaken. “I love to do the Coogee to Bondi walk,” he says. “It’s meant to be my release every morning. But I was absolutely exhausted. On Boxing Day, I went to cover the Test between Australia and Pakistan, and I couldn’t lift the microphone. Matthew Weiss, the man in charge at Fox Sports, said: ‘You’re going straight to hospital.’
“I was put on the highest level of CBD Vape, the same substance that some cancer patients use to get rid of the pain. I still couldn’t tie my shoelaces, though. I couldn’t even do up the buttons on my shirt.” Although the staff in Fox’s wardrobe department helped, Vaughan was terrified. “Usually my Aussie mates say, ‘Aw, get on with it, mate’. But even they thought, ‘What’s going on here?’ They weren’t half as worried as I was. Your body doesn’t say, ‘You’re a former England captain, we’re not going to allow this illness to invade you’. "
On his return to England, he was sent for a CT scan, realising with dread that he was being checked for lymphoma. As he waited for the results, he froze with tension. Only when they confirmed an absence of any grave physical pathology did he understand that the origins of this ordeal lay in stress.
As a label, stress can be an unhelpful catch-all, encompassing the ephemeral pressures that the vast majority of us grapple with daily. But when taken to extremes, it can wreak havoc on the body. Vaughan shows me a note from his rheumatologist that explains the mechanics of what has been happening to him. “You have developed an inflammatory condition,” it reads.
“You are really lucky in that you have received treatment rapidly, because it looks like the medication has halted it. It can be brought on by stress – the immune system is very complex. Its job is to fight infection or foreign bodies, but it can sometimes go rogue, and instead of fighting germs it sees part of ourselves as foreign and starts a war.”
It is well documented that the prolonged release of stress hormones can trigger inflammation. And Vaughan, by any standard, has dealt with stress in its most insidious form for far longer than is healthy. For three years he had to put his life on hold, defending himself against a single alleged remark from 2009 that he vehemently denied making.
“There’s too many of you lot, we need to do something about that”: those were the words that Azeem Rafiq, his former Yorkshire teammate, claimed he had uttered during a T20 match at Trent Bridge. Except the Cricket Discipline Commission decided last April that, on the balance of probabilities, he said no such thing.
When Vaughan was informed during a morning drive that he had been cleared, he burst out crying in his car. I met him that evening, and his tone was anything but triumphalist. He simply spelt out how brutal the experience had been for him, his wife Nichola and their three children, and how social media had fuelled a presumption that he was guilty until proven innocent. He is aware, as he says now, of how much stress has been suffered on both sides in this case. While the verdict meant that his mind could heal at last, he did not realise the toll that his anguish had taken on his physical wellbeing.
“I had gone through a lot in those three years,” he says. “I wasn’t necessarily worried about me because I can generally cope with everything, but I was much more concerned about what was going to happen to my family. I’m supposed to be this tough ex-England captain, but my body reacted in a way that I’m sure many people’s bodies do in the same situation. The same illness can occur with bereavement. It’s that kind of loss.”
While Vaughan had feared professional oblivion, the strain on his family has since eased. “That’s why I’ll speak now,” he says. “I just want positive energy. Stress is always going to be there, but this high-end stress can ruin your life. I just have to avoid that now. I understand that I can’t go through it again.”
In the months that followed his exoneration, Vaughan had moments of self-doubt, growing anxious about returning to his TV and radio roles, the very work he had once handled with consummate ease. To keep these thoughts at bay, he took to plunging into a morning ice bath outside his house. When he posted video evidence on social media, some of his followers suggested he was having a midlife crisis.
“I can assure you I’m not,” he smiles. “As much as the ice bath is good for inflammation, it gives me a clarity, a sense of being bright and fresh. It means I don’t get angry. I could still get angry about so many things. I believe I was understandably angry before, but you can’t stay in that state forever.”
Vaughan describes how he has been seeing a psychiatrist as part of convalescence. It is an indication of how, for all the chutzpah he conveys as a broadcaster, he has had times when he has never felt so vulnerable. “I had put up a front for a long time,” he says. “If you’re fighting something that you feel is wrong, and you’re doing it very publicly, I guess that’s what you do. But it wasn’t really me. Deep down, it was absolutely killing me.
“People always talk about mental illness being the hardest to detect, because it’s not a visible injury, it is just something that happens inside your mind. It’s similar to this illness. Over time, it just builds up.”
Beyond his fondness for at-home cryotherapy, Vaughan has developed other strategies for preventing potential relapses. “One is bio-hacking,” he explains. “I didn’t have a clue what it meant until about four months ago. Essentially, it’s about making sure you look after your vagus nerve, the nerve that controls your immune system. I now have a little device that I wear, for a few hours a day, to trigger the nerve. There’s a green button to stimulate it into a relaxing mode, and a blue button for focus. I don’t know how much it’s working or not, but I do feel a lot better.
“I have a hydrogen water tap in my house. I drink raw milk. I still drink alcohol, but not as much as I used to. Plus, I’m back in the gym. I didn’t think I’d miss it, but I did. There was one day in Australia when I went to do a high-intensity interval training class. The session was divided into different stations: burpees, step-ons, cycling, running. But when I went to do the first burpee, I just collapsed on the floor. I didn’t have the power. I had to leave, in total embarrassment.”
Today, there is barely a therapy that Vaughan will not consider to recover optimum condition. Infra-red saunas, reformer Pilates machines, daily injections of immune system energisers: you name it, he is attempting it. The evidence suggests it is working, now that he has scaled back his steroids to minimal levels, and in far less time than his medical team envisaged. It has been a bleak, sometimes horrifying chapter, but he is confident he can finally see the light.
“I don’t know if I’m tougher than I thought, or weaker,” he says. “There are two ways of looking at it. It does prove that I’m human. It’s not about how many caps you have, how many stripes you have, or how famous you are. Your body doesn’t say, ‘You’re a former England captain, we’re not going to allow this illness to invade you’.
“In the end, we’re men, aren’t we? If we can do something tomorrow, we’ll do it tomorrow. But I’ve had this warning in my life, where my state got so bad, so quickly, that I had to go and see someone.
“Don’t ever think you can’t get treated for something or you can’t get through it. And if you do have the signs of some inflammatory disorder, go to your doctor as soon as possible.”
Vaughan is overwhelmed with relief that the worst is behind him. The days when his youngest daughter, Jemima, would have to put his socks on for him are, mercifully, consigned to history.
“She found it quite funny,” he grins. “I was trying to laugh with her, saying, ‘This is me now – you’re going to have to do it for a long time’.” Together, however, they have found a way to come out the other side.
Hard to write? He messed the ending right up!! Playing with old Citreons is NOT fun or relaxing! I think Jim's been on those 'funny fags' again Don't worry, a couple of weeks reading my posts will get him back on the saddle.
xantia_v6 wrote: 20 Jun 2024, 14:31
That must have been hard to write Jim, but your health must come first. I am sure that you won't run out of projects for a while.
It was Mike, incredibly so but made easier by the wise advice, and rather a lot of concern, voiced by many of my close friends and my immediate family. Two of whom will be reading this. Thank you. With all your sincere ear-bending, caught just in time I believe, before it got more serious.
Armidillo wrote: 20 Jun 2024, 15:15
I hope you know what you are doing planning to spend more time on here Jim - I reckon this lot would drive anyone around the twist!
I'll risk it Alec Very good to read that article about Michael Vaughan. I was aware of his back-story but never knew how badly it affected him. Stress can do so much harm and it's likely the root of my issues. I'm not good at coping with any sort of stress and putting on a TT race for 50+ riders every week was hugely stressful. Much more than I could ever appreciate before I took on the job. It was consuming a huge amount of time.
And I've been badly neglecting things as I kept running out of time between recovering from the previous race and getting ready for the next whilst simultaneously trying to organise a parkrun. All too much. Thing was, I loved doing it and hugely enjoyed the events. I thought I could cope; only my friends and family saw the harm it was doing...
Lesson learned.
Rp0thejester wrote: 20 Jun 2024, 15:20
Hard to write? He messed the ending right up!! Playing with old Citreons is NOT fun or relaxing! I think Jim's been on those 'funny fags' again Don't worry, a couple of weeks reading my posts will get him back on the saddle.
Speaking of getting back in the saddle, I've started off by giving my favourite bike a full service; it was badly in need of it... It too had been badly neglected recently
As has Bluebell...
Thoroughly cleaned!
Was filthy, now degreased...
Jim
Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
Next door have a new car... A 2019 C4 SpaceTourer with the 1.5 Diesel... Seems a stupidly tiny engine for such a big car... But then again, the DV6 in my C3P goes like a frightened cat so maybe the 1.5 is well up to the job...
I've already got my hands dirty on it... Literally. It suffered a flat tyre last evening - a very big, sharp flint. Neighbour was baffled as to how to get the spare out and undo those strange wheel nuts - not realising they have little plastic covers on them!
Getting the spare wheel and the toolbox out baffled me for a bit too... But once I'd sussed it - what a bizarre arrangement! Very Citroen
Then, my trolley jack and rattle gun on some stupidly tight wheel studs got the job done...
I then spent some time explaining what Adblue was all about... They wondered what the little blue filler next to the fuel filler was all about! I think I blew their minds... Lots of crystallisation around the filler. I blew their minds even more when I mentioned the DPF and Eolys
Their last car was a very tired old Fraud C-Max.. It did them 8 years of very sterling service...
Their new Citroen is quite lovely in black and looks immaculate in and out but I was shocked rigid at how rusty it already was underneath... Looks like it lived by the sea (or in it) for several years
Next up, I'll be running my Diagbox across it...
It was fun. I was not really up to it given my current state of health but my neighbours are no different to family to me and I'll do anything for them; they have been brilliant to me over the years. That goes for all my neighbours in our little Close
Jim
Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
I’m sure they were very grateful as well as slightly daunted by the modern emissions technology
5 year old cars shouldn’t be rusty already though, my daughter’s Ford KA (2011) is very scabby underneath and already has surface bubbles appearing on the front wheel arches! It’s only a matter of a year or 2 when it will need welding but she’s had it 9 years and won’t let me try to delay the corrosion ….more worrying is we’re potentially buying it off her when the time comes for her to upgrade to a newer car
Last edited by Skull on 22 Jun 2024, 09:40, edited 1 time in total.
On my 4th Citroën Xantia (X2 HDi (110))
Citroën sAXo Memphis Mk II
Gone
Xantia x3 (2.0i TCT Activa)(2.1 TD SX)(1.9 TD Estate)
Xsara HDi VTR Coupe / Saxo 1.1i / BX 1.9 d / 4 x AX's (1.4D /1.5D)
2 x 406 (1.9 TD Estate/2.1 TD Saloon) 405 1.9 D Estate 306 1.9 XTDT Hatch
The MK2 doesn't seem to give much trouble really - screens in early cars, and the wiring to the rear ABS sensors (and handbrakes on pre-2016 cars) rubs though and causes a blizzard of lights, but is easily fixed.
Front struts can wear - and I see this one has just had one for its MOT
Ad blue is hit and miss - ours is working ok at 64k, some have failed at <30k. Doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason!
Ours is a couple of years older, and yes starting to go rusty underneath
Headlights are a bit crap - expect to be asked for uprated bulbs when it starts to get dark
Windscreen washers are terrible by design
This being an early 1.5 it may be fitted (or at least have been at the factory) with the 7mm cam chain (this engine has gone back to a 16V design with the 2nd cam driven by a short chain in the head) - these are not man enough and break early. I think they were recalled, but it would worth establishing if it does (did) have the 7mm chain / if it has been recalled / if it has been changed for the revised 8mm. If you post the VIN up we can check if any outstanding recalls - although it won't always tell you what they are for! See the third post here from wheeler which tells you how to check (although he also refers to the RP no so if you get the VIN the RP no will reveal where it sits - but I suspect before as the No mentioned translates to 31/12/19, and DVLA says reg Oct '19) viewtopic.php?t=74956
There may be an issue with oil gelling if the correct grade is not used and service intervals are not adhered to. If it's come from a generic dealer and had a 'service' I would be tempted to drop the oil and put the correct stuff in - I know you don't do you tube, but the lads at Salvage Rebuilds recently did a Vauxhall Combo (Dispatch / Expert clone) based Spacetourer with 40 k that had eaten the turbo and wrecked the crank - possibly it had never been serviced but not worth the risk for a few quids worth of oil
Don't be surprised if there are loads of faults when you scan it; they don't seem to like having the battery off.
Stop start unlikely to work unless battery is almost new - just ignore it.
If there's a squeak when turning the steering wheel, lubricate the rubber grommet where the shaft goes through the floor
Pollen filter is no where near as hard to change as a Mk 1, but good chance it's not been done, so worth changing it
Map updates may be available FOC from tomtom
Don't worry, a couple of weeks reading my posts will get him back on the saddle.
I'll risk it Alec 
Very good to read that article about Michael Vaughan. I was aware of his back-story but never knew how badly it affected him. Stress can do so much harm and it's likely the root of my issues. I'm not good at coping with any sort of stress and putting on a TT race for 50+ riders every week was hugely stressful. Much more than I could ever appreciate before I took on the job. It was consuming a huge amount of time. 
.
That is a nice l
ker 
but she’s had it 9 years and won’t let me try to delay the corrosion ….more worrying is we’re potentially buying it off her when the time comes for her to upgrade to a newer car 
Thanks Mick!