Lies, Damned Lies and the Haynes Manual

zorgman · Post by **zorgman** » 12 May 2005, 03:00

its dead easy.
unplug the sensor and get a grip of the bugger with mole grips or whatever and bash its brains out, nah only funning. the sensor housing is made of plastic so its just a case of getting it out whichever is easier, when refitting clean the hole it came out of with emery paper and use some vaseline or liquid soap and itll push in ok under no accounts start bashing it in as the plastic is very brittle and the windings inside will snap which for the record are 0.0125mm dia, just take your time as there too expensive to kill and make sure it is THE correct sensor that is gone

Stabs · Post by **Stabs** » 12 May 2005, 13:07

Thanks! I'll be giving it a go during a vastly extended lunch-break today (I guess it's being optimistic to think I can do it in a lunchtime, but who knows....).
Now all I need to do is see if any of my workmates have any vaseline on them......
Oh yes. I'm also planning to leave the battery unconnected during the job and for a couple of hours after finishing to ensure that the ABS ECU fault memory clears (found this posted elsewhere). Does this work?

capri_tzd · Post by **capri_tzd** » 12 May 2005, 15:33

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by ItDontGo</i>

I know in the Haynes they say 'undo the bolts securing the cambelt cover and withdraw the cover'. Anyone who has ever had a go at doing this will know that merely stating you should withdraw the cover is like saying to do Quantum Physics you should buy a calculator. Ofcourse you should but you should also spend half your life at Harvard first. Similarly you will be withdrawing a cover merely a foot or so but thats going to take you about 2 hours. You'd be better off undoing the engine mounts and jacking one side up to be honest as it is so hard.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">
I seem to remember when I took my TZD into my old place of work, they ended up undoing one or more of the engine mounts to do just that! [B)]

Stabs · Post by **Stabs** » 12 May 2005, 19:52

Done it!!!
Had to burn the sensor off with a blowtorch but it came out. Worst part was feeding the bl**dy new sensor cable back through the small routeing hole.
ABS now working properly. Thanks for all the advice!
Ian

rossnunn · Post by **rossnunn** » 14 May 2005, 02:23

I've learnt that the haynes manual's are rather guidelines

Bluey1978 · Post by **Bluey1978** » 19 Nov 2005, 22:56

What the Haynes BOL doesn't take into account is the fact the car THEY are working on is brand new and everything comes apart lovely. When we get round to that easy 1spanner rated job we have 15 years or road dirt and seizure to put up with and a whole weekend of misery and a gallon of WD40 to go through.

You can gurantee the job YOU want to do is the job they don't do the pictures for OR the bolt they forget to tell you about is the crucial one holding everything together and why does every job need the negative battery connection disconnected - I'M ONLY CHANGING THE WHEEL

........

Has anybody else noticed that the BOL rarely shows exploded diagrams now and the paper they print on is now so cheap and coarse you wouldn't wipe your a**e on it.

Hence the reason Forums like this are so popular.

fastandfurryous · Post by **fastandfurryous** » 20 Nov 2005, 01:28

Plus, they have "dumbed down" the Haynes manual from the original "owners workshop manual" to the current "service and repair manual"

The earlier books are far better IMO, and are actually aimed at people with some level of understanding. Now that hanes books are trying to please everyone (with their wholly-inaccurate spanner rating) they don't tackle the interesting jobs anymore.

I've often wondered if the spanner rating is actually "you need to be this much of a spanner to read this!"

But what alternative is there for technical specifications and drawings/diagrams? Not a lot really. Russek manuals are diabolically bad, and I haven't seen a "eurobooks" manual in eons.

rossnunn · Post by **rossnunn** » 20 Nov 2005, 22:34

I have a mk1 mr2 haynes manual written for the states, & that is excellent, it gives you pinouts exploded diagrams everything.

citronut · Post by **citronut** » 21 Nov 2005, 09:04

the russeks mauals i have had have been very good and had proper details,i would think they are not aimed at the DIYer though
regards malcolm

jeremy · Post by **jeremy** » 21 Nov 2005, 11:59

I always think that a skinned knuckle grading would be more appropriate than spanners.

Fluffykins · Post by **Fluffykins** » 15 Dec 2005, 22:11

Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read right through before you start. Now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Prise off...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (giant economy size).

Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: PINGGGG - "Jesus, where the hell did that go?"

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part (and maybe a plaster or two).

Haynes: Lightly slacken...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it.

Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken, it's about to be. We warned you!

Haynes: One spanner rating.
Translation: An infant could do this... so how did you manage to **** it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, teensy weensy number... but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact, that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating.
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days.

Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You're not seriously considering this are you?

Haynes: Five spanner rating.
Translation: OK - but don't ever transport your loved ones in it again.

Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it, throw it at the garage wall, then find some molegrips and a hammer...

Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife, "Yep, it's as I thought, it's going to need a new one"

Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to suffer serious abrasions.

Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: Difficult to reach ...
Translation: Assembled at the factory and never meant to be touched.

Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: Yeah, right. But you swear in different places.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...

Haynes: Using a suitable drift...
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: RAC Card & Mobile Phone (but don't forget your molegrips and hammer!)

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Alternatively, clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book, bar what you need to do.

bxbodger · Post by **bxbodger** » 15 Dec 2005, 23:26

I have 1 hour's access to a car lift, a can of WD40 and a bloody great wrench

Lose the WD40 and get a can of plus-gas or some paraffin instead-much better!!

ms00 · Post by **ms00** » 15 Dec 2005, 23:58

I think a campaign should be started for the "Return of the Exploded Diagram". A few (generally poor quality) photographs on low grade paper rarely convey how something is put together. I suppose a couple of clicks with a digital camera is much cheaper than someone doing a technical drawing.

Mandrake · Post by **Mandrake** » 16 Dec 2005, 00:26

I suspect its more about royalties - the older Haynes books that did have good diagrams in them basically just copied them from the Citroen original manuals, but perhaps Citroen don't allow that now or charge too much for the rights to reproduce them ?

In any case the later Haynes manuals like the Xantia ones are just a joke

Regards,
Simon

dnsey · Post by **dnsey** » 16 Dec 2005, 08:53

Lose the WD40 and get a can of plus-gas or some paraffin instead-much better!!

Where do you get plus-gas these days? Excellent stuff, but I thought they must have stopped making it!

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Lies, Damned Lies and the Haynes Manual

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