How to kill a Rover 214?

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Post by philhoward »

Most of your kind suggestions seem to revolve around boiling/siezing it. I'm unfortuantely guessing that a head/headgasket will be less than the immortal £1000 by some way. I might be able to goose the ECU as well, as that's a few bob, but both faults need to occur simultaneously if this is the case. Surely a new/recon engine is less than £1000, including fitting?
A near identical car was kept, despite 3 £800 bills in as many months...
I'm thinking along the lines of a handfull of salt in the header tank, followed by a little "nick" in the radiator.
What sort of shaped hole in the front of the car would a badger/fox make??? Body damage (££££) plus a holed rad = surely enough!!

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Post by Jazz2001 »

Ok the way to destroy a car is to get a proper company to destroy it. You take it to a scrap yard/Crusher Yard, tell the company you were picking up a few bits for your other car and they accidently crushed it. Sadly the company is likely to sue the crusher but hey its out of your hands :D
Surely u cant do £1000 damage to a car thats not worth half of that amount of money?
I hope ur accountant doesnt read this board.


Post by cheesesliceking »

park it outside my house... the t***s around here will have it away in 2 minutes..[V]

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Post by mbunting »

Arrange for a high speed blow-out, slide it into a high kerb, buckling the suspension, drive shafts and subframe.
Unfortunately, the risk of personal injury is somewhat high.

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Post by mbunting »

Oh, and if you can get the airbag to go off, that's another couple of hundred quid to replace !

Richard Gallagher
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Post by Richard Gallagher »

Drop some sand into the oil filler cap............................

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Post by np »

Torch it!.Break the door lock,break the steering lock,take it somewhere out the way at night,pour petrol inside,light a rag chuck it in,then leave.FAST!
Report it stolen in the morning,job done.Helped with a Ren 25 & a old BMW320,worked with them!!

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x 14

Post by Homer »

Where is the air intake?
Lots of people have wrecked cars by driving through puddles and sucking air into the engine. Maybe you can find a deep enough ford.
How much damage could be caused by simply removing the air filter for a few miles.
Take a trip to the coast and park it on the beach as the tide is coming in?
Be warned though, we were in a similar situation with a 1.4 escort. Finally saved up enough repairs to get rid of it and they found an identical model for us.

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Post by andycarter »

Apply 240V to the ECU

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Post by lhm_leak »

Remove air filter. Start engine. Insert business end of garden hose into air intake. Turn on water supply.
Stand WELL back...
To ice this particular cake, soak the air filter and replace somewhere among the scrap iron at the front of what was once a car...

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Post by TomH »

how many head gaskets has it eaten to get to that mileage?


Post by philhoward »

Only one head gasket to date, apparently. I'm currently thinking something like:
Shove 12 volts up a sensor wire to slightly mash the ECU, but still let it run (enough for a new one - any guesses what might do? Lambda sensor wire as it's convenient?).
Make that "magic stone" just puncture the radiator.
Try and drive the 48 miles to work and see how far i get (about 3 miles is my guess)

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Post by PowerLee »

I have a electrical safety testing machine at work, I could always fry your ECUs chips with 5000 volts dc if you like?

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Post by arry_b »

Slacken off the radiator cap, start the car, put a brick on the accellerator pedal.
Retire to a safe distance, and see how long it lasts. This has the benefit of looking less suspicious to nosy accountants.....
If you want to cause more expensive ancilliary damage, a strong salt water solution poured into the alternator help to add £100 to the bill.

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Post by bernie »

Is it dead yet[?][:D][:D]