How to kill a Rover 214?

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philhoward

How to kill a Rover 214?

Post by philhoward » 23 Jun 2004, 23:35

OK chaps...here is the mission!
N reg (old shape) rover 214i, 8v, shed.
198,000 miles on the clock and I have to do £1000(+) worth of damage to it without:
a) it looking like it was deliberate
b) injuring myself
I've made a start on the clutch (smells nice...) and it's got a new rattle courtesy of 1/2 the length of the M42 in 2nd gear.
As (i doubt) any individual repair will cost £1000, any ideas? (Don't say put a Citroen badge on it and take it to a dealer...)
The £1000 is a long story, especially as the car's only really worth about £20 (it's got 8 months tax...), but something to do with company accounting...

VisaGTi16v
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Joined: 27 Sep 2002, 21:39

Post by VisaGTi16v » 24 Jun 2004, 00:47

drive it for another few hundred miles and youre pretty much guarenteed a head gasket failure as those 1.4 k series love doing that so im told
perhaps drive it foot to the floor with a lead removed so its firing on 3 for a while or something?

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np
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Post by np » 24 Jun 2004, 01:06

Drive somewhere secluded,undo sumpplug so it starts to leak,then go for a drive until it seize`s.Then plead ignorance,& say it`s been driping 4 a while.

CITMAN
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Joined: 02 Aug 2002, 00:22

Post by CITMAN » 24 Jun 2004, 01:39

run it on really dirty engine oil and see how long it lasts.

philhoward

Post by philhoward » 24 Jun 2004, 02:03

It's due for its service, but the oil is always clean :( The cars get checked every week for oil and water/leaks so it must be a sudden one!
For such a "fragile" car, it's taking some killing through normal abuse, even at nearly 200k! An oil leak it must juts have to be...

James.UK
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Joined: 15 Dec 2003, 00:12

Post by James.UK » 24 Jun 2004, 02:14

Even a small stone can make a hole in a radiator. [}:)] [;)] and overheating can cause major engine damage. [;)] Failing that get a new and more "creative" accountant.. [:D]

PowerLee
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Joined: 01 May 2004, 19:49

Post by PowerLee » 24 Jun 2004, 02:18

Hi
Start it from cold on the rev limiter & hold for a couple of minutes [:D]
Drive along at say 80 - 95 mph ( on a private test track )& when it safe to do so drop it in to second [;)]
Forget using the clutch also will help you destroy it [:D]
This all tried & tested on a Y plate 1.1 Saxo loan car ( Well the Citroen dealer shouldnt of F****D me about for 6 weeks! )

philhoward

Post by philhoward » 24 Jun 2004, 02:22

That was the sort of abuse i was thinking of, PowerLee...A little nick in one of the rad pipes should help as well.
Just need to make sure that the damage (in one go) is over a grand's worth. Accident damage would be the easy way; front or rear corner? It's well slippy out there since the rain... Be a shame if it was dumbelled into a high kerb somewhere. Not enough to hurt me, i hope..

PowerLee
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Joined: 01 May 2004, 19:49

Post by PowerLee » 24 Jun 2004, 02:31

A nick, little or large in the cam belt will help you on your way!
It would be a shame if the handbrake failed & it rolled in to a stone wall or something like that, You dont live on a hill do you? [;)]

philhoward

Post by philhoward » 24 Jun 2004, 02:34

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by PowerLee</i>

It would be a shame if the handbrake failed & it rolled in to a stone wall or something like that, You dont live on a hill do you? [;)]
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">
I wish...alas, no..

PowerLee
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Joined: 01 May 2004, 19:49

Post by PowerLee » 24 Jun 2004, 02:39

If you really want to kill it, just come to Northampton & park it up in the town, Leave it there for say a hour & when you return it will be gone forever!
Joyriders you just love them, & they have no problems with Rover imobilisers here either! [;)]

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uhn113x
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x 1

Post by uhn113x » 24 Jun 2004, 13:35

Phil
Can you clamp the top or bottom hose, and go for a long drive so it gets a leetle warm?
Put a lot of oil on the cambelt?
Put a couple of pints of petrol in the sump?

Stuart McB
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Joined: 03 Oct 2003, 00:50

Post by Stuart McB » 24 Jun 2004, 15:28

How about bringing it back to Birmingham where it was made and leaving it off Broad street the night life alone would put it in to kit form. Or you could drive over one of those conceled tree stups that'll rip out the sump, how about one of those ramps with the spikes on that'll only let you go one way?

mbunting
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Post by mbunting » 24 Jun 2004, 21:23

Drain the coolant and replace with salt water.

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rabenson
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Post by rabenson » 24 Jun 2004, 21:46

Take the rad cap off and drive it - it'll soon boil dry and probably warp the head!
Ron