CAMERA SCHEME THAT WORKS !

ACTIVE8 · Post by **ACTIVE8** » 14 Mar 2005, 19:42

CAMERA SCHEME THAT WORKS !
Found this while "surfing" the net, on a sarcastic and cynical motoring web site, and thought members might find it amusing. [:D]

NEW CAMERA SCHEME FOR ACCIDENT BLACKHOLES
Following the positive reaction to the highlighting of speed cameras in fluorescent yellow, a government thinking tank has suggested a new scheme for taking the idea one step further. Research has shown that the majority of speeding is still committed by young men; so in a move to cut down the number of road based deaths even further a new variation has been developed in which the back of the roadside box is illustrated with a picture of a lady's front bottom.
The new '(-expletive removed-)' cameras work on two main levels. Firstly, they are more visible to drivers, and secondly, tests have shown that the key group of male adults aged 17 to 25 slowed down to speeds as low as 3mph when passing the units in order to give more time to have a good stare and shout 'Phwoar'. However, local authorities are still undecided about the new plan, fearing that some men will simply drive straight into them.
If the radical plan is approved government officials have hinted that the (-expletive removed-) cameras could be sponsored by VAG.

fastandfurryous · Post by **fastandfurryous** » 14 Mar 2005, 19:46

on www.sniffpetrol.com by any chance? Possibly the funniest mickey-taking website I've seen

ACTIVE8 · Post by **ACTIVE8** » 14 Mar 2005, 19:55

Here's another one from the same site.
Yes, it's also from www.sniffpetrol.com
Well worth a visit. [:D]
MORE PUNISHMENT FOR SPEEDERS
Following the Government's recent proposal to add a five pound "victims' fund" surcharge to speeding fines, evidence is emerging of another, even more radical scheme to punish motorists. Under a top secret programme being developed inside Downing Street, all drivers convicted of speeding would be required to hand over the shirt off their back, which would be used to clothe low income families or other people whose personal misfortune has absolutely no f*****g connection whatsoever with doing 64mph in a national speed limit zone.
'Drivers must be punished for everything,' noted one senior Whitehall insider. 'Even things they haven't done. That's why the Prime Minister and the Home Secretary are considering another radical proposal to help our hospitals which will again be supported by the motorist who will pay for the crime of even owning a car, never mind actually daring to drive it anywhere, by surrendering a pound of their own flesh'.

ACTIVE8 · Post by **ACTIVE8** » 14 Mar 2005, 20:21

Here's another one to make you laugh. [:D]
If you have not looked at www.sniffpetrol.com before then take a look now ! [:D]

I had a great time reading their stories.
<u>SNIFF TIPS</u>
Handy money saving hints for the year ahead
1. Save money on expensive parking sensors - simply cover your back bumper with whoopee cushions!
2. Want a new, supermini sized BMW Mini but can't afford the steep asking price? Simply buy an original Mini and park it closer to your house!
3. Slapheads can forget expensive and ineffective rain sensing wipers by simply driving around with the sunroof open. You'll soon know when it's raining through the 'rain sensor' on your head!
4. Forget those fancy trip computers. Simply tape an old calculator to the dash and use that instead. It'll probably be more accurate, and if you're really bored you can turn it upside down and use it to spell out BOOBS!
5. Can't afford fancy darkness sensing headlights? Simply use your eyes, you dimwit

Stuart McB · Post by **Stuart McB** » 14 Mar 2005, 23:56

5. Can't afford fancy darkness sensing headlights? Simply use your eyes, you dimwit
Yes I can't agree more. Have you seen the 6AM morons out now. "Well it's light out side and I can see so I wont bother with my head lights". DERRRRRRRRRRRR! [}:)]