Oh! Is that what it does!!

[IanR]

HGV servicing-instructor came in laughing his sides off. Apparently a trainee had spent ages trying to figure-out why a diesel would only turn-over very, very slowly. He'd changed the batteries, the starter, checked the wiring.. Still no joy.
Instructor then remembered he'd told another trainee to check the oil just beforehand.
Took out the dipstick, and a jet of oil spewed out. [8)]

[yangreen]

A mechanic friend of mine was at work one frosty morning when an irate female customer came into the yard. She shouted, "you told me you had topped up the anti-freeze but I still had to scrape the windows this morning."
He also had a customer who filled the oil up to the rocker cover - she poked the dipstick in through the oil filler to check there was enough...
And I have had a friend with a 2cv who famously filled the oil through the dipstick tube!

[vanny]

Well my house mate had his oil changed the other week, came to me on friday telling me the battery light was on all the time and he had to kep getting the car jumped. So easy alternator change i thought! Open the bonnet and there is oil everywhere, and dripping from the alternator!
Took the rocker off and it's full to the top! Guess i know who's gonna get to fix that! Worst of all he's been driving around with it for a week, i have his car keys now!

[nick]

A friend of mine did an apprenticeship at a BL dealers in the late 1970’s. He has plenty of tales to tell from that experience, but one concerned a woman who bought a new Rover SD1 V8 from them. After a few weeks she brought it back because it wasn’t running right and there was “stuff” dripping from the engine. They opened the bonnet and there was “mayonnaise” all over the top of the engine, and the breathers etc were totally clogged with it. They assumed it must be one of the head gaskets and agreed to take the car in and do the work under warranty. When the work was done she collected it, but after a week or so she brought it back furiously saying that exactly the same thing happened again. The dealers agreed to replace the entire engine under warranty this time, but yes you guessed it, the new engine did exactly the same thing too. It was only when someone asked her whether she’d noticed if the car had been using any oil or water they realised what the problem was. “Yes,” she said indignantly “there was no water in it at all last week, so I filled it up to the top with a watering can” They asked her where she was putting the water in, and she pointed to the oil filler cap.........

[bulldog]

when i was at an agricultarul college we used to have a lad who pissed every one of so we used to send him for a box of blue sparks from the stores but they said they had none but would red ones do or we would send him for the good old glass hamer.also when i worked for a recovery company i went to a break down olny to be told that the car kept pissing water every where and when i looked under the bonet the guy said he filleed up the exspansion tank to the top but every time the engine got hot it would p**s out every where so i had to explain to him how it worked. shy dont they teach basic maintanance on your driving lessons it would save alot of hasle but i dont think many garage owners would like it though

[paranoid]

Don't laugh but it took me 4 days to get a lada riva running before I realised it was out LPG and the switch needed switching to petrol........But it was a very stealthy install for a very naive 17 year old apprentice.

[G4EIY]

A bit off track, but I remember a friend relating this true story.
Rode his BSA Gold Star in to the garage and said to the attendant, "fill up with petrol, and check the oil", and went to the loo to do the necessary.
On returning, the attendant said " I filled her up with petrol, but could not get too much oil in", he said where did you try to put it, he said in that large funnel there. That was the bell mouth of the carb !!!...
He did have a job starting the engine after that...